


Melted in Love

by sharkgriffin



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Character, Disabled Character, Everyone is Queer, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Lesbian Character, Mental Health Issues, No Lesbians Die, Non-binary character, Only minor but still, Panic Attacks, Pansexual Character, Raven is disabled no one forget that, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-06-05 23:05:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 43,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6727003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkgriffin/pseuds/sharkgriffin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is a bisexual senior with dreams of becoming an artist and a wide group of friends, and Lexa is the new hipster gay girl who loves candles, playing the harp and the ocean.</p><p>Or</p><p>The one where Clarke and Lexa are more than just gal pals who need to admit their feelings for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it would be important to mention that there are other pairings in this story, but most are side pairings. The main focus is on Clarke and Lexa's friendship and relationship but there will also be: Octavia/Lincoln, Raven/Gina, Monty/Miller, Harper/Monroe, Jasper/Maya, Bellamy/Echo and Abby/Kane. Basically, I've paired everyone up. There will also be mentions of past relationships.

"Clarke, Jaha wants to see you."

Clarke glanced up from her sketchbook in which she had been confidently scribbling for the past thirty minutes. This was the first part of her daily routine, from Monday to Friday. She always arrived at school early, due to her Mom having to get into the hospital for her first shift by nine; the hospital that it took forty five minutes to drive to, so Clarke was always dropped off first. She did not mind. The only real consequences were that she had about half an hour less sleep than most of the other kids, which she could cope with. It was rare that she could ever get a night's sleep without feeling utterly exhausted the next morning, even at weekends. And this way, she was able to get some of her portfolio work out of the way.

Her best friend Raven stood there, hands on hips and her heavy rucksack slung over one shoulder as she always carried it. Her hair was tied back in its usual ponytail, and today, she had on an unbuttoned denim shirt over her favorite black tank top. As always, she wore her metal raven necklace that dangled just above her collarbone.

"What does he want?"

"I don't know. Heard it from Monty."

"If Monty said so then it must be true."

"Hey, what are you drawing? It better not be Shay Mitchell again."

"It's not. And I don't only draw Shay Mitchell."

"Eighty percent of your sketchbook is Shay Mitchell. Can't say I think art school will like that."

"Well, actually, today, I'm painting a night sky."

"Cool. Like that Van Goe one in your room?"

Clarke rolled her eyes and stood up with her book wide open on the page she had been one. "It's pronounced Van Gogh. And no, I'm pretty sure they get hundreds of that exact painting every year." She showed the start of the picture, how she had outlined the area for the sky and the trees and a cliff that jutted out in the corner. Two miniscule figures stood there. If you looked closely enough, you could just see they were holding hands.

"I left all my paints at home but I think I'll get properly started this weekend."

"It's looking good so far. It doesn't look like that Van _Gogh_ one," she said. "Who are those people? Me and you?"

"No, just a random couple."

"Griffin, you are such a hopeless romantic. Anyway, gotta get to the workshop. See you in English."

Clarke quickly packed her bag. If it were true that Principal Jaha wanted to speak to her, he would want to get that out of the way before first period. "Yeah I'll see you," she called after Raven, who had already limped halfway across the playground.

* * *

 Waiting outside the principal's office, for most, would be an unnerving experience, especially if you had no idea why you had been sent here. Principal Jaha was not a scary man, he did not shout or tell you off for your skirt being too short, or anything like other school principals did, but there was still that look of disappointment he gave you when you had broken the school rules and been caught, a kind of cold guilt in your heart.

Clarke knew she was not in trouble, though, so she need not panic. She knew the prinicipal, he was the father of one of her best friends, and the best friend himself of her mother. The two Jahas came over for dinner on a Friday every two weeks, so the fact she seldom got into trouble may be down to favoritism. It was also because she had been declared by teachers as one of the best students in the year (though she thought that title should definitely go to Raven).

She saw the tall man's figure getting larger through the glass as he approached the door and opened it. "Clarke, come in, have a seat." He held the door open for her to pass.

Occupying one of two green chairs in front of the principal's desk was a girl, about her own age. The girl had swivelled her head around to look at her and Clarke's jaw dropped open. The girl had the most stunning eyes she had ever seen. They were light green, an eye color she hadn't thought existed, surrounded by long eyelashes. Her hair was long and wavy, brown but naturally (as far as Clarke could tell) highlighted with gold. Her face was very narrow with small, yet rounded cheeks. She wore a loose, striped t-shirt and black jeans, and Clarke noticed around her fingers, she wore thin, golden bands.

Fortunately, Clarke had some skill at disguising attraction to people. Even though this girl was amazingly beautiful, she quickly regained her composure. This was a skill that came from three years of having Raven Reyes, one of the hottest girls in the school, as your friend.

She dropped into the seat beside her, not quite meeting the other girl's gaze, and faced Jaha instead, who now sat behind his desk. The other students in the school would mock his outfit choice, and one time, Raven told her that her and Mr Sinclair had joked about his fashion sense. Today, he had on a gray, turtleneck sweater, which she knew Raven would have something to say about.

"Lexa, this is Clarke Griffin. She's one of our top students," he said to the other girl, who must have been Lexa. "Clarke, this is Lexa Woods. She's just been transferred here. Like you, she's a senior."

"Hi," Clarke said to her. Lexa nodded in response. New people always transferred, though that was mainly either at the start of the school year or half way through it, not literally a week after the school year started. Clarke had certainly seen her fair share of new arrivals. One of her friends, for example, Octavia, had only arrived at the start of sophomore year. It was especially strange that someone should transfer to a school in their final year, only to leave again just nine months later.

"I know that you have a free period so I was hoping you could show Lexa around. She should know where her classes are and she needs to see her locker. It's P13."

"Yes, sir."

"Clarke, how many times have I told you it's fine to call me Thelonius. We know each other well enough." He laughed.

"Okay, come on Lexa." She was unsure what else she could say as she lead the other girl back out of the office. Lexa pulled a backpack up onto her shoulder, one decorated with so many pin badges that it was almost impossible to see the pattern beneath though Clarke did catch an uncovered flower on the side.

"I like your badges," Clarke said as their footsteps echoed down the corridor. The bell for first period had already sounded so they were two of the few not yet in lessons.

"Thank you."

"Where did you go before here?"

"Nowhere. I was taught at home"

Homeschooled, Clarke thought. Homeschooled kids were weirdos, everyone knew that. It was even stated at the start of _Mean Girls,_ which happened to be one of Clarke's favorite movies. Then again, she could not count the number of discussions she had been involved in where people asked what constituted as normal because really, no one is normal, everyone is unique.

"Clarke!" A voice shouted from behind her. She spun around to see a girl dressed almost entirely in leather striding briskly towards her.

"Hi, Octavia, are you alright?"

"Yeah, fine. Little sleepy. Who's this?" She turned to look at Lexa. With the large heels on her black, leather boots, Octavia and Lexa were about the same height.

"Lexa. It's nice to meet you." She held out her hand to shake. Octavia stared down as if she had never shaken a hand before, then took her fingers by the ends, moved her hand slowly downwards, before letting go.

"Lexa? Nice name."

"Thank you, but I prefer yours. Octavia, it's from Roman legend. The sister of the emperor Augustus."

Maybe she was a weirdo. Or maybe she was just a history nerd.

"Yeah, I know. My brother's obsessed with all that Greek and Roman stuff. Anyway, I just wanted to say, Clarke, I booked us a music studio for after school. Think you could bring your guitar along?"

"I don't have it here today, actually. I've got my ukulele in my locker, though."

Octavia sighed. "Alright, I guess that will do. I've told Maya, already, but if you see Monty, can you tell him?"

"Sure. See you later." Octavia retraced her footsteps, walking back in the direction she had come in. Clarke had already mostly memorised her friends' timetables for this year so she knew Octavia had chemistry right now.

"Is she one of your friends?" Lexa asked.

"Yes. She's a good friend of mine."

"Is she a senior?"

"Yeah. Anyway, your locker's just over there."

Lexa pulled a key from a chain she had around her neck. Clarke had not noticed it before; she had hidden it beneath the collar, but she saw that there were three or four other keys on the string, along with a single, green pendant.

She began placing her things within the completely spotless space. Clarke had been using her own locker now for three years and it was filled to burst with all the papers she had collected over that time and the notebooks she had to write all her information down in. Every time she tried to clean out the space, it would end up messy again by the next day. She wondered if Lexa would have the same trouble. Then again, this girl wore all her keys around her neck instead of shoving them in the bottom of her bag like most people, saving her the trouble of having to search around for them later.

Lexa placed down a few books in a neat pile, all appearing to be fiction. Why did she need to carry so many books around with her? Surely she could not read more than one per day. She then gently closed the locker back on yourself and gave Clarke a small smile.

"Thank you, Clarke."

"You're welcome." She replied, uncertainly. "Do you need help getting to your classes?"

"No, no. I think I am capable of doing that myself."

"We'll probably have some classes together. I guess I'll see you around."

"Yes, Clarke. I hope I will see you around, too." Clarke turned her back on the other girl first, ready to make her way to the art room where she could spend the next fifteen

* * *

 

"Stop, stop, stop!" Octavia shouted. "This isn't going to work."

"You're acting like this is some big, new observation, O," Raven said from where she sat in the corner, doing her Math homework.

"Shut up, Raven."

"She is right," said Monty. He had in his arms a clean and well-kept guitar which he now unstrapped from his shoulder and placed with the most delicate care on the floor. "A ukulele just doesn't work with drums. Guitar and piano don't really either, unless you have a bass to go with."

"Like every other band. We're having a new sound. No, the problem is that one of you guys is playing too fast. It sounds wrong." Octavia glanced from Clarke with her ukulele, to Monty, to Maya who wasn't even facing her but was instead organising her sheet music above the school keyboard she was using. As Octavia had told Clarke earlier on, she had booked them a music studio to finally get rehearsing for their casual school band underway.

"Sorry, Octavia," Maya apologised. "It was probably me. I'm used to playing on my own."

"We could do with a singer," Monty suggested.

"What about Maya?"

"She only does musical theater and her voice is too high, no offence Maya."

"I thought you wanted the band to have a _unique sound_ ?"

"Stay out of this Raven."

Clarke laughed. She knew of course that Raven, despite loving her group of odd friends, would much rather be doing homework actually at her house instead of somewhere she had to listen to Clarke, Octavia, Monty and Maya try to form a band. But Raven had no car of her own, and no buses went in the direction of her house. Last year, she would have walked, it would have taken her less than half an hour, but her doctor had told her to not travel long distances on just her legs.

"I think we're done here. We should take a break, try again next week."

"Yeah, good plan, Clarke. I'm loving that plan," smirked Raven. Clarke helped her rise to her feet and then bent down to pick up her crutches. "Thanks."

"Maya, do you need a lift?"

"No, but thank you, Clarke. Jasper's taking me out for dinner."

"Monty?"

"Yes please."

By now, Maya had finished putting away her music. Monty had his guitar back in its case. Octavia was fine, she need not put away her drum kit. It belonged to the school as it would be far too difficult to haul a drum kit backwards and forwards between her house and here.

Out the five of them walked, Octavia locking the door behind her with the key they had been asked to give back to the janitor once they were done. It was almost five, the time the school encouraged most extra-curricular activities and after school meet ups to be finished by, with the exception of drama rehearsals. They had barely got any rehearsing done; the first twenty minutes had been Maya and Monty playing beginners tunes while Octavia attempted to turn them into rock renditions by adding a beat in the background. Like the entirety of the rehearsal, it had failed tremendously.

Jasper and Wells stood at the edge of the car park, talking with each other about some kind of video game that Clarke had never played. She knew it was cliché but she had never been able to get into video games. Wells had loved them for her entire childhood, from when he used to play _Super Mario Bros_ on his nintendo DS when they were seven, to the serious video games he played now. When she got into highschool, when her and Wells remained friends, just no longer best friends and she instead became a part of what she had branded "the golden trio" with Raven and Octavia, both of them had also obsessed over video games, particularly any with interesting storylines. Just six months before, they had always been around at each others' houses to play the new game _Life Is Strange,_ which Clarke thought had sounded boring (though she was slightly fascinated when she found out, in one version, the two female mains shared a kiss which was of course the version Octavia and Raven followed through with). But no, video games had something she enjoyed playing.

"Jasper, are you ready?" Maya asked. She blushed as she spoke to him, dating a whole month and she still couldn't talk to her serious boyfriend without blushing.

Jasper smoothed down his spiky black hair and approached his girlfriend. He wrapped his arms around her, bending down to kiss her on the top of the head, which quickly escalated into the two of them mildly making out.

Raven rolled her eyes. "Straight people."

Clarke would have pointed out that she had seen Raven act like these so called "straight people" when drunk. Then again, so had she, and so had Octavia, many people get shamelessly horny while drunk.

"Hey, Clarke, isn't that Lexa?" Octavia asked, nudging her in the ribs.

"Ow, where?"

"Who's Lexa?" Raven and Monty both questioned at the same time.

"There, you missed her, she just got in that car with Miss Woods."

"Okay, I repeat, who is Lexa?" said Raven, louder than before so Clarke had to show her a warning face, just in case Lexa might hear all the way from Miss Woods' car.

"She's this new girl. Jaha made me show her around."

"Wonder what she's doing with Miss Woods," Octavia said, thoughtfully.

"Hey, O, maybe they're having a torrent love affair."

"Ew, Raven. Lexa's surname is Woods, they're probably sisters."

"Isn't Miss Woods Asian?"

"I think she's biracial," Monty replied.

"And what's Lexa?"

"She looked white to me."

"Then half sisters. Or adopted sisters, or step-sisters." The car Miss Woods drove was quite bulky despite being only having five seats. It was red, but coated with a thick layer of dust, the type of car that younger kids would write "Clean Me" on, and there was a huge dent in the side. The engine started, and they drove away.

"Whatever, she's quite hot."

"Octavia! Oh my God, do you like her?" Raven exploded.

"Hey, all I said was she's hot, Raven. I gotta go. 'Told Indra I'd get some studying done before she gets home." She dangled the keys to her motorbike from her hand which was hidden within the sleeve of her leather jacket. They smashed together, making sounds like the singing of wind chimes.

* * *

"Hello?" A man's voice called from the kitchen as Clarke slammed the door shut behind her. Wells had dropped Monty off first, followed by Raven, who were both only a ten minute drive from the school, before coming home and parking his car in front of his house, next door to Clarke's. Abby Griffin, Clarke's mom, could very well afford a car for her daughter, but had decided she would not get one until after college, due to doubts about Clarke's responsibility. At the time of her sixteenth birthday, nearly two years before, she had been angry. Wells' dad had bought him a fancy, brand new one, all to herself, while she still either had to get lifts from her friends, take the bus, or when Abby was not working and in a particularly good mood, borrowing hers. More recently, she had accepted her mother's car rule. She knew she would end up crashing it or something. And the accident had put her off cars for a while.

"Hi, Marcus. It's me."

"Clarke!" Marcus, her mother's boyfriend, emerged out into the hall, a wooden spoon, coated in tomato sauce in his hand. "I thought you were your mom."

"She texted and said she'll be about twenty minutes late."

"I've got a treat for us tonight. Tacos." He smiled and Clarke smiled back at him.

"I'm going to my room. I have to get some art done."

"I'll call you when it's ready."

Clarke jogged up the green-carpeted stair, her iphone in one hand and it's charger in the other. Once safely barricaded in her bedroom, she plugged it into the plug point beside her bookshelf. The screen lit up to show her background picture, a selfie she had taken with Octavia and Raven over the summer. This meant she had no new notifications, which was unsurprising; she hadn't been on tumblr or twitter in days.

Her mac stood on her desktop, below her posters, pictures of her favorite celebrities, a big Slytherin banner, a bunch of printed out photos of her and her friends, not just Octavia and Raven, but Wells and Monty, Jasper, Maya, Octavia's older brother, Bellamy, who sometimes hung out with them in his free time, Monroe, Miller, Harper.

She smiled as she sat down and opened up facebook. Again, no notifications, she rarely used it. In the search bar at the top, she typed "Lexa Woods."

Two results came up. Both had a photo, the first of a middle aged woman with glasses and blonde hair, the second of a slightly younger woman, also blonde. Neither of them were the Lexa she knew.

"My ghost, where'd you go," she sang to herself, under her breath, as she moved onto instagram. People tended not to use their real names as their usernames, instead just putting their name in the description bar. Still, she liked to be following everyone she knew on every social media account she had.

The first thing on her feed was a picture posted from the account "ravenclawreyes," a photo of Octavia and Raven with their arms around each other in the locker room. As usual, Octavia appeared very unimpressed. Clarke clicked the heart at the bottom, she was obligated as their best friend to like all their pictures, even if she was not in them. Then, she moved to the search bar and once again typed "Lexa Woods." There was only one result this time, because Lexa was not the most common name, for an account simply known as "lexa.woods."  And that was indeed Lexa in the icon, with her hair curls falling down over one shoulder and sharp-as-a-knife winged eyeliner, making her even more stunning-looking than she had earlier on. She clicked on the account and sighed. This girl was a total hipster. She took photos of sunsets and jewelery and lit candles laid out on desks, of dogs, food arranged neatly on plates, and social justice quotes. Clarke was half jealous that her account was so aesthetically pleasing.

With uncertainty, Clarke's finger hovered over the follow button before finally pressing, then switching off her phone. It was time to get back to work.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Glowing, luminescent stars, their brightness fading as night transformed into day. Now, you were able to see them for what they really were: shapes cut out of plastic. If Lexa lay on her back and stretched her legs up in the air, she could easily touch them with her feet, the glow-in-the-dark stickers, her ceiling was that low. Anya said only seven year olds had glow in the dark stars in their bedroom, but Lexa did not care. Anya did not know the familiarity Lexa had with staring at them in the night, the one thing she could see once all of the lights were off, as she found patterns between them. Sometimes, it even helped her drift off to sleep.

That never lasted long. She always sent herself to bed by ten thirty, eleven at the latest, but it was rare she would fall asleep much before 2am. From there, she had a few hours of tossing and turning before waking up when it was still dark outside and despite however much her eyes ached and her limbs felt stiff, there was nothing she could do to fall back into blissful dreams until the next night.

When she awoke this morning, she had been able to tell, just from the amount of light outside, that it had been around 5am. She never got up to read a book when she couldn't sleep, no matter how much she loved books. No, she clung onto the hope that maybe this night would be different, maybe the night terrors that invaded her dreams would not emerge this time. That was yet to happen.

The footsteps padded down the stairs. It had to be Aden. It must have been about 8am by this point. Uncle Gustus would already have left, Anya would still be in bed, but Aden had always been an early riser. Soon, he would be wanting his breakfast.

She stepped out of bed and pulled her hair out of the bun she always wore it in to sleep. The hair fell down her back, with a static frizz like it always had before and sometimes after she had brushed it. From her closet, covered from top to bottom with shiny animal stickers, she found a pair of neatly folded, black leggings. During the night, it got hot, especially when you could never sleep, so during nine months of the year, she tended to only sleep in an over-sized T-shirt which she would never wear out of the house, and her underwear. For the last few nights, she had been wearing her shirt for the Women's National Ice Hockey Team. She slipped on the leggings, which seemed just a little shorter than the last time she had worn them. They had likely shrunk in the wash as Lexa's last growth spurt had been three years ago, when she was fourteen. They would have stretched out after a full day of wearing them.

Obviously, her hockey shirt was not appropriate for work. Too sloppy, probably stained in some places. She put it in the pile at the end of her bed. She would do the weekly wash when she got home later. She found a bra, also small, cotton T-shirt with tiny printed flowers. She hung her key chain over her neck and tucked it away under her shirt collar. She was fully dressed now. She would need to be leaving as soon as she could, just in case of traffic.

Leaving her bedroom, she saw Becca at the top of the stairs, whose eyes lit up at the sight of her owner. Her tale began wagging from side to side and she bounded into Lexa's arms. Saturday was the one day when Lexa had no time to walk Becca, so Aden would have to do it. Being a twelve year old, he did not realize the importance of walking dogs and had not done it for the last two Saturdays, meaning Becca was very reckless when she had arrived home.

"Hello, Becca," she whispered into the Labrador's soft ear. She patted her on the back, ruffling up and down her ink black fur. From the bottom of the stairs came the far-too-loud theme tune of _the Simpsons._ Anya never liked being awoken by Aden's need to have the volume turned to full.

"Aden!" Lexa called as she passed into the living room. There he was, sprawled across the couch in his lion onesie, with his spiked up blonde hair. He was watching a relatively new episode as she could tell. The outlines of the Simpson family were not as fuzzy as in older episodes and the colors were brighter. Lexa did not mind the cartoon in reasonable servings but when she had to listen to that theme tune and those falsetto voices on a daily basis, it became plain annoying.

"Are you ready for breakfast?"

"Yeah," he muttered, his eyes fixed to the small screen as Bart Simpson rolled down the street on a skateboard.

"Cereal or toast?"

"Lexa, please can I have a waffle? There's one left."

"You know they're bad for you."

"But I haven't had any since last week."

Lexa. Aden loved waffles so much. She found the packet stuffed in at the very back of the fridge. It had not been sealed, so the waffle was slightly harder than it should have been, but a few minutes in the oven should be enough. Lexa proceeded to make herself one of her favorite breakfasts: two slices of bread, warmed in the oven for they had no toaster. While she waited, she made a drink of strawberry Nesquik for Aden and a black coffee for herself. She needed plenty of caffeine to keep her going through the day. On a regular school day, she would get through about three large mugs.

She spread one piece with crunchy peanut butter, difficult to spread but nevertheless delicious. She used raspberry jelly on both her second slice and Aden's waffle. Unlike many people she knew who liked peanut butter and jelly, she never combined the two and instead ate the two slices separately, alternating from which she took her bites from. Lexa left Aden watching his TV and eating his waffle. She munched on her own breakfast while simultaneously placing any dishes from the night before in the sink. She did what washing up she could, using small amounts of soap to use as little as possible.

Once she had eaten her breakfast, she climbed back up the stairs, to thoroughly brush her teeth. On her way back out of there, she passed Anya's bedroom, slowing her step so as to not make much noise. She grabbed her backpack from her bedroom before running back down the stairs. "Remember, Aden, you have to take Becca for a walk!"

"Okay," he replied. For now, an okay was the best she could get out of him.

Lexa loved her younger cousin. He was not incapable, though he may sound that way, he was not lazy. He was hard working. He did all his schoolwork, and went so far as to research everything he did not understand, just like Lexa. He trained for soccer all the time, getting Lexa and Anya to stand in the goal. He was always asking Lexa for extra home karate lessons since both of them had to quit to save money when he had just become a green belt and she had been a black belt for a long time. It was just his independence, following what he was told to do that he did not need to work on. He did not seem to understand the state their family was in and how serious it was. Then again, he was only twelve, and his father was keeping much of what was going on away from his ears.

Running down the street towards the bus stop. Lexa had no need for running for anything, other than to toughen up her muscles for ice hockey sessions and karate, and just in case there was any kind of delay. Indra was always angry when she turned up to work late. Not that she had been late often, only once.

The bus arrived, she showed her ticket, took a seat at the front. She loved sitting near the front because nobody else did. Everyone wanted a seat at the back for some reason unknown to her but which any person could comment on. This meant she did not have strangers squashed up against her while she was engrossed in her books, distracting her.

From her bag, she withdrew  _The Song of Achilles._ She had found the recommendation on her Tumblr account and rushed to the latest library to get it out. What could possibly be better than a gay Greek myth? Mythology is far gayer than modern historians wanted you to believe, so Anya had said to her. This book truly drew you in: a beautiful use of vocabulary, small text and a slow pace but still so touchingly written.

"Hey, that must be a really interesting book."

Lexa did not usually enjoy engaging in conversation with many people, simply because she was unable to keep a conversation going without it becoming awkward. However, if any person came up to her and talked to her about books, she would very willingly join in. But this boy, whose voice came from behind her, it sounded teasing. She ignored him, just carried on reading.

"I can promise you, I'm much more interesting."

Still, she ignored him, knowing what this was right now.

"You're too pretty to be reading such a big book."

"The man's talking to you." That must have been one of his friends.

Lexa got up. How thankful she was she had reached her stop. She stepped down onto the pavement the second the doors slid open, getting away from those men as fast as possible.

She had a Saturday job in a cafe that also happened to be a bookshop called Polaris, after the star. She did not earn that much, six dollars every hour which was below minimum wage but this did not matter as she was a child. She worked five hours, from 10 am to 3 pm, giving her thirty dollars a week. It really was not much, but she needed it, ready for college next year.

Arriving at quarter to ten, the store was just opening up. It was just Indra here, the woman in charge on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. She knew a man by the name of Tristan was in charge on other days (other than Tuesdays when the store was closed), but she had never met him. Even Indra had interviewed her.

"Good to see you here on time." Indra shared with her a rare smile. "Now, we have this month's book delivery in. Would you mind arranging them on the shelves?"

* * *

Lexa brought two espressos and two small lemon tarts to the couple sitting nearest to the window. "Is there anything else I can get you?" It was the polite thing she had to see after serving everyone, to get herself extra tips.

"No, we're good here," the man said, without even meeting her eyes. She glanced at Emori behind the counter who shook her head, signalling there were no new orders. She noticed on the other end of the store, a pretty girl with hair in a ponytail and crutches leaning against her chair was seated, her menu down while she played on her phone.

"Hello, Miss, are you ready to order?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I am, I'm just waiting for my friends. They're checking out what you have on sale." She tilted her head so that she faced the corner of the bookshelf, behind which the bookshop part of the cafe extended. "Hurry up, you guys!"

"What would you like?"

 "Could I get a piece of chocolate cake, please? By the way, when I say they're checking out what you have on sale, what I mean it one of my friends kind of has the hots for that muscular guy with the tattoos, back there."

"Oh." Lexa had no idea how this customer wanted her to respond.

"And the other one of my idiot friends wanted to go and check him out. Wait, I swear I've seen you before."

"Maybe I just look like someone you know."

"No, I have definitely seen you. I think at my school. Do you go to Ark High?"

"I just moved there this week."

"You, you're...it's Lexa isn't it? Wow, she wasn't kidding."

Who wasn't kidding? How did the girl know her name? She didn't recognize her which meant they had not shared classes, only passed each other in the corridor.

"Griffin, O, get over here!" This time, the girl got a response, and two other teenage girls came barreling around the corner, one brunette and one blonde. That was when Lexa understood how this girl must know her name: it was Clarke and Octavia!

"Jeez, chill out Raven!" Octavia said to the girl with the crutches. She looked pretty much the same as she had earlier in the week when Lexa met her, all in black with maybe a little more black eye shadow than she had on in school. Meanwhile, Clarke had on an blue sweater, a snapback with a letter C on it and a green scarf with thin grey stripes wrapped around her shoulder. Since she interacted with these two girls on Wednesday, Clarke had followed her on instagram and smiled at her a few times when she walked past her. Octavia had sat next to her in Chemistry and looked at her a few times, but she had gained the idea quickly that Octavia was not the most skilled with being friendly. Lexa had yet to make any friends in her new school.

"Guys, look, it's Lexa!"

"Oh, hi, Lexa," said Clarke, shyly. "I didn't know you worked here." Of course she didn't know she worked here, she didn't know anything about her.

"Yes," Lexa said, rather impatiently. "I've been trying to take your orders."

"Sorry, we were just checking out what books you had on sale," apologized Octavia and almost perfectly mimicking the words of the ponytail girl who must have been called Raven.

"I know what you mean, and yes, I do believe Lincoln is single."

"Lincoln? That's his name?" Raven asked. "Yes, Octavia, don't look at me like that, I was just making polite conversation with her while waiting for you.

Octavia was suppressing a grin while looking at Clarke with hazel eyes that shone with delight, with the knowledge that her crush was not dating anyone, and Clarke grinned back at her. Lincoln was a nice guy, Lexa knew. She had talked to him on a few occasions and he was kind and polite and liked books, completely unlike those boys on the bus. She supposed that was what straight girls looked for in men.

"What would the rest of you like?"e

"I'll have some water with my chocolate cake, please."

"A  regular chocolate milkshake and a chocolate chip muffin," Octavia requested.

"Can I get some strawberry cheesecake and a cup of English breakfast tea, please?" asked Clarke, lastly.

"Milk?"

"Yes please."

"Sugar."

"No thank you."

Lexa noted down their orders in what she had been told was very neat, readable handwriting, small with upright letters. She moved back over to Emori behind the desk, handing her over their orders.

"Would you like any help?"

"Depends. You know how to use the milkshake machine?"

"Yes."

"Great. You can get them their milkshake while I get everything else."

Lexa bent down under the counter to find the ice cream which she added in large portions to the cup. She carefully measured out the milk, the more important part. This was not her first time using the machine, though she was normally on serving duty, meaning she knew what a disaster it was if you added the incorrect proportion of milk. It would end up to thick and creamy or alternatively horribly diluted. Finishing putting in the chocolate flavoring, she closed the lid. The blender roared, tearing at the ingredients with its serrated teeth. Once it was done, she poured it into the plastic cup. She arranged it on the tray Emori had set up, next to the chocolate cake. She had no taste for milkshakes, too sweet for her. She preferred coffee so much more, no matter what form it came in.

The tea was ready. Balancing the tray so that it hung parallel to the floor on both hands, she carried the food over to the table of the three friends.

"Chocolate milkshake and chocolate chip muffin. Tea and strawberry cheesecake. And your chocolate cake and water."

"Hey Lexa," Raven said, excitable. "Can you answer this question?"

"Alright." replied Lexa. She was uncertain about this. Customers rarely made conversation with her, and she was not good with conversations. Having not been to school since she was Aden's age, she had never been in the situation where one of her customers came from her school seeing as she only took the job a year ago.

"Who's hotter, me or Octavia?"

"Oh my God, Raven, stop."

"No, come on. Let Lexa solve this. She seems clever enough to be able to judge true beauty."

"Raven, let Lexa get back to her work," Clarke argued, clearly horribly embarrassed by her friends. Her cheeks had turned bright red. "Sorry about Raven."

"Come on, Lexa, please. It will only take a second."

Lexa was fascinated by these girls, by the strange contests they appeared to have over beauty. Was this what friends talked about. She did not want to offend anyone answering her question.

"I think both of you are very attractive in different ways."

Raven rolled her eyes. "Why can't anyone give us a straight answer?"

Octavia giggled.

"Pun not intended. No, but Lexa, if you had to pick one of us to make out with-"

"Raven!"

Lexa looked from Raven's face to Octavia's, and saw Clarke's apologetic smile from the corner of her eye. Raven had some kind of competitiveness about her that made it seem she would be happier if she were to win, whereas Octavia was slumped back in her chair, frowning, with her arms folded.

"I would say Raven then."

"Ha!" Raven said and turned to point at Octavia. "I like this chick. She has good taste. When are you finishing your shift?"

Lexa glanced to the clock that hung above the counter. The time was 2.49 pm.

"Ten minutes."

"We're heading to the mall after this. You should come with us."

"Come on, Raven, Lexa probably doesn't want to hang out with a bunch of losers like us," said Octavia.

"I don't think you're losers," Lexa said quickly.

"You don't know us very well then."

"O, you're just bitter because she said I was hotter. What do you think, Lexa?"

"Um, sorry, I have a lot of work to do." It was no lie. She had all of her chores, the washing the dishes, putting all the clothes in the washing machine, not to mention more studying. She had to keep on studying if she wanted the right SAT grades.

"Oh, maybe some other time then. Wait, can I get your number?"

"Erm...Yes?" Once more, few people had asked for her number. The only people's number's she had were Anya's, Uncle Gustus', Aden's, Indra's and she once had Costia's though she had deleted it after the breakup.  "Oh, damn, my phone's at the bottom of my bag, I can't get to it. Octavia, can you get her number instead, and text it to me later?"

Octavia groaned. "Sure." Like Lexa, she had an iPhone, though hers had cracks on the screen. Lexa always kept hers safe and put it in a case so it would not break and she would not have to replace it for years. She typed her number into Octavia's contacts, her full name as well, then handed it back.

"Here."

"Thanks."

"You'll text her so she has your number, won't you, O?"

"Yeah. Oh, I almost forgot." Raven rummaged in her pocket and produced a fist of dollar bills. She handed three over to Lexa. "Tip, for being so helpful." She took the last bite of her chocolate cake and swallowed with a sip of water.

"Lincoln will bring you the bill," she said, feeling the anxiety at being able to maintain herself in the situation rising.

"See you on Monday, Lexa!"


	3. Chapter 3

It was hot. In their early morning texting session, Raven went as far as to say it was the hottest day of the year. This was hardly true; there had been plenty of blistering weather during July and August, so it was more likely just the warmest day in September, which they were not even two weeks into yet. Clarke had come into school in high-waisted shorts and a jacket and now peeled her sweaty legs off the plastic chair beneath her, as she turned to face Raven and Octavia.

"You texted Lexa, yet?"

"Oh my God, Raven."

"You're the one who's always complaining about being single."

"So what? I can find my own date. Like with that guy Lincoln at the weekend."

"But did you ask him out?"

"No, because I don't even know him."

"So I've brought a fish right into your net."

"Um guys, maybe not the best idea to call her a fish. She's in this class with us, and could come in at any second," Clarke whispered, glancing to the door. The other two ignored her.

"She's alright. Just a bit antisocial seeming, you know. That might be your type or Clarke's type but not me. And what do you mean? It's much more likely that a guy would be attracted to girls than a girl."

"Anyone's gay, deep down."

"Please don't pull a Miley Cyrus and make some joke about drugs in drinks."

"Hey, you know I wouldn't go and quote that white trashcan of a Disney channel star."

Nathan Miller rose behind Octavia so he could join in on the conversation. "Octavia and Lexa wouldn't work as a couple. It's the law of shipping."

"There is no law of shipping. As long as you don't ship Ted and Robin from  _How I Met Your Mother,_ you're good."

"Or Liam and Karma from  _Faking It,_ " Clarke added.

"I'd never watch that trash show. Anyway, tell us about this law of shipping, Miller."

"Monty came up with it. He said, you can't ship together people who look too similar, otherwise it looks like they're making out with their reflection. So the people need to be one of three for them to work as a couple: different hair color, different hair length or different race, and height difference is a bonus."

"I love a good height difference couple."

"Excuse me, Miller, but about fifty percent of the US population are white and most of them have brown hair. What are you supposed to do?"

He shrugged.

It was then Lexa chose to walk in, hair woven into intricate braids all over her head. She had that bag again, the one with all of the badges, and to save herself from the hot weather, she had a pair of dungarees and a tank top. For what had been less than a week, everyone had talked about her, even if they had no classes with her. It had been the same case with Octavia and every other new person, just not to this extent. Everyone was wondering, just like Clarke, why she had only come for the last year. Especially if she had been home schooled before, why suddenly stop? She was the last one to arrive, too. Every head in the room turned to stare. Lexa froze, uncertainty showing all over her face. Clarke looked away and tapped Raven's shoulder so she would face the front, too. Octavia, Miller and Monty in the same row as her seemed to get the idea and also turned around. This meant she had a little less focus on her.

Clarke heard the nauseating sound of chair legs scraping against the floor as Lexa sat herself in the one free seat in the lab: the one directly beside her. A light bit of chatter had started up, now the girl was not standing where everyone could see her, their minds returning to the complex matters of teenage life.

Dr Tsing, their biology teacher, marched to her desk. She was a very smart woman, always hair curled into perfect black ringlets, as if she got it done professionally every morning. She had a variety of suits which she wore underneath her lab coat, carrying all her papers in a neatly ordered file that she kept under her arm. Every other teacher always had to sort through their papers; lesson plans and worksheets to find the register. Hers was kept at the very front of the pile.

"Octavia Blake," she called.

"Here," Octavia replied. Clarke opened her notebook to the latest available page, where they had been making notes on natural selection. In the margins, she sketched eyes with her ballpoint pen, and she started work on a new one.

"Monty Green."

"Here."

"Clarke Griffin."

"Yes."

So on registration continued, getting to the students with surnames beginning with M which considerably longer than any other letter: Harper McIntyre, Nathan Miller, Zoe Monroe, John Murphy and Niylah Murphy.

"That's good," Clarke heard a monotone voice say to her side. There was no emotion, no indication of whether she was praising her or being sarcastic.

"Oh...thanks Lexa."

"You're very artistic."

"Lexa Woods."

"Yes. So, are you a fan of art?"

"Oh, you don't even know," said Raven, leaning backwards so she could meet Lexa's eyes. Dr Tsing stopped in the middle of her sentence and glared at Raven.

"Miss Reyes, do I need to separate you from Miss Griffin?"

"Sorry."

Clarke nudged Lexa's arm and then scribbled a quick note on her paper:  _Do u want me to draw ur eyes?_ Lexa scanned the text, then nodded. So Clarke watched her as she drew, turning between the paper and the sketch so that she could get the shape perfectly right. Impressing Lexa meant something now she had told her she thought she was artistic. She regretted that she had all her watercolor pencils back in her lockers because really, up close, that eye color was so mesmerizing. She would love to use her pencils to blend together the lightest green she had with just a touch of blue, ring it with black. For now, she just made do with her ballpoint, heavily marking the eyelashes as thin curves and shading within the iris. She left the usual white space, shine of light, next to the pupil.

"Done," she said, and withdrew her arm, so Lexa could peer at it.

"Thank you," she mouthed, with another shy smile. "You are a good artist. I'd love to see any of your other work."

"Do you have anyone to sit with over lunch?" Clarke whispered.

"No."

"Well, would you want to sit with us?"

"That's a very nice offer, Clarke, but I should really go to the library-"

"Don't you eat?"

"Well, of course, but-"

"Then you can take one day off. You can come with me to the art room afterwards, and I'll show you my old work. My old stuff, it's not very good though."

"Miss Griffin, if I have to warn you one more time, I'm separating you and Miss Reyes, and moving you to the front."

"Sorry."

"Alright," Lexa whispered, so quietly that not even Dr Tsing with her sharp ears and just feet away from them could hear them. "I'll come, but I'd like to get back to work now, if you don't mind."

* * *

 "I'm just warning you, we're all a little weird."

"I don't mind," replied Lexa. Clarke had waited behind for her after class. People, especially freshmen and seniors always rushed straight to the cafeteria the second the bell went for lunch. The seniors because they had actual work to do, the freshmen simply because they were so excitable and seemingly desperate to piss of their elders. Octavia and Raven had rushed on ahead with all of the others and would save spaces for them at the table. However, Lexa had been working hard until the end of the lesson, despite her slight distraction at the beginning with Clarke's drawings. She made more notes than everyone, taking down not just what was written on the board but every little detail Dr Tsing gave and more, not starting packing up until she had finished her sentence.

"And sorry for Raven at the weekend."

"I did find it a little strange. Why was she acting like that?"

"Oh, that's just how Raven is." On their path from the science labs to the cafeteria were the signs telling you to walk, not run, to stay on the right, no name calling. There was a sign proclaiming a senior cake sale which was raising money for a trip to Uganda. Clarke had always wanted to do a cake sale, except that none of her friends could cook to save their lives. "But, I don't know if I should be telling you this but Raven was trying to set Octavia up with you. You see, if you're going to hang out with my friends, you'll have to know that we're pretty gay."

"What do you mean by that?" She sounded quite angry. Her teeth were showing, like a wolf bearing the fangs it would rip you apart with, but she was not shouting. Maybe she was homophobic and maybe what they said in  _Mean Girls_ about home-schooled kids being extremely religious was correct. Then she remembered Lexa's instagram which she had now been followed by. She seemed to remember some kind of 'This user supports LGBT rights' post.

"Well, Raven is bisexual. And Octavia is pansexual. Do you know what that means?"

"Yes."

"She thinks she has a slight preference for guys which has made her a little uncertain." She wondered if she should tell her this. She wouldn't like it if other people went spreading her sexuality around to strangers. "And I'm bisexual." She searched her face for signs of prejudice. There were none. It hit her that with Clarke referring to their friendship group as "very gay" it may have sounded like Clarke was making fun of people for being gay and Lexa had thought _she_ was the one who was homophobic.

"Oh. Have you ever had a girlfriend?"

"No, not really. I've kissed a girl before but never actually dated one. I've had a boyfriend. Sort of," she added in a quieter voice.

"I see," Lexa responded. Again, there was no hint of emotion in her voice, no way of showing if she was tolerant or not.

"And most of the rest of our friendship group are queer - LGBT - in some way, too. In fact, Jasper, Maya and Monty are probably the only straight ones. They're over there." Her friends were occupying two tables in the left hand corner of the room. Octavia and Harper were sharing Raven's lunch tray between them as Raven limped to a seat on the almost full first table.

"So Raven wanted Octavia and I to be a couple?"

"Yeah, basically, Octavia said she thought you were hot, so Raven thought that meant she liked you." Clarke did not mention that if she had vocalized her own feelings about her attraction to Lexa, Raven would be trying to set her up with Lexa, too, and coming up with a ship name for them, like Lexarke, or something.

"Octavia thinks I'm hot? I can't believe that."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not."

Clarke laughed. She was so oblivious to her looks. Maybe she was just modest, or fishing for compliments.

"Can I have pasta with meat sauce, please? And cheese?" Clarke watched Lexa while the lunch lady drizzled the sauce over the fresh cooked penne. She had ordered the vegetable curry, with rice. The curry was green and with a consistency less viscous than water. Out of the top of the liquid poked a few lumps of cauliflower, but Lexa seemed to have no objections to eating it. While Clarke went on to pick up her chocolate chip cookie, Lexa served herself lettuce, cucumber and grabbed a pot of yogurt. So she wasn't necessarily a weirdo, or super religious, she could be a health nut.

"You're quite healthy," Clarke observed as they walked the last spread of distance before they could finally begin eating.

"Yes, I suppose I am."

"Are you a vegetarian?"

"Yes."

"That must be hard."

"It's a lot better than eating dead animals," she replied, and now Clarke wondered if she was one of those vegetarians from comedy shows who shove tofu down your throat. "It was difficult at first. But that was nearly ten years ago, Clarke. I have since adapted and it has given me the capacity to be healthier."

Lexa placed her plate down on the second table, next to Raven and opposite Monty, and Clarke took the final space next to her.

"Hey, Lexa."

"Hello again, Raven." She picked up her first forkful of food which was only a cauliflower chunk; the rest of the curry dribbled back down onto the tray.

"Guys, this is Lexa. For those of you who don't know."

"Hi, Lexa," most of them said, a little unenthusiastically, though Harper and Maya both smiled at her. She hoped what she was doing - inviting the new girl to be friends with them - was the right thing. She had no idea what interests she had other than that she clearly enjoyed taking pictures on her phone, which meant she could be completely incompatible with her friends interests. But that didn't matter, did it? None of them had exactly the same interests. Raven liked pop music, fashion, science. Octavia loved skateboarding, video games and action movies. Monty and Jasper liked comic books and Miller and Harper liked making movies, Monroe loved playing soccer, Wells liked science fiction movies and Clarke watched any TV show with a well-written queer pairing. None of them had exactly the same interests.

High school movies had been what Clarke relied entirely on when she started at Ark High. When she was younger, all she ever used to watch was  _Glee,_ so she was convinced things would be the same. She thought there would be cliques: the jocks, the cheerleaders, the nerds, the stoners. She had thought that each of these cliques had their own assigned table in the cafeteria. Though friendship groups tended to sit together, they just took whichever table was free and not the same one each time. The jocks were supposed to beat up the nerds for lunch money, the cheerleaders were supposed to spread gossip about the good girls so they could steal their boyfriends. None of this ever happened. Harper was on the cheer leading team and she was one of the nicest people Clarke had ever met. Sure there were cheerleaders and jocks who hung out together, who fit the definition of popular, but it wasn't that everyone looked up to them and wanted to be them. No, people liked them and people disliked them, just as people liked Clarke and people disliked Clarke. Even those without a friendship group, like John Murphy, weren't necessarily unpopular. Clarke would talk to him occasionally, even though he had been a real dick to everyone in freshmen and sophomore year.

"That's Monty, you know Raven and Octavia, that's Jasper, Maya. Her and Jasper are dating. This is Wells. This is Nathan but we just call him Miller."

"Yeah, because he thinks calling himself by his surname is cool," Raven laughed.

"This is Monroe. And that's Harper."

"Hi."

"Pleased to meet all of you. I'm Lexa. Lexa Woods."

Raven chortled. "She sounds out of _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_. You know, that scene on the Hogwart's Express where they all start introducing themselves. 'I'm Ron. Ron Weasley. I'm Harry. Harry Potter.'" She said all of this in a terrible English accent. "Are you a fan of  _Harry Potter_ , Lexa?"

"I have read the books and I enjoyed them. But I've never seen the movies."

"Why not?"

"I never got round to it. I tend to not watch movies of books. They ruin them for me."

"The movies aren't that good but they're worth a watch. Which house are you?"

"I don't know. How are you supposed to know?"

"Well basically, there's this dumbass quiz on line that all these nerds thinks tells them something about their personalities," Octavia said.

"You're just bitter because you got Gryffindor, even though you totally are one, O."

"I'm not bitter. I just think it's stupid and tells you nothing about your personality."

"Oh, please. Miss Ravenclaw Reyes here, AP student, probably going to MIT. Ravenclaw pride! High five me, Monty, Maya." Both of them gave Raven a special Ravenclaw high five across the table. "I'm getting that quiz up on my phone, Lexa, and you are taking it right now. Just let my internet load." Raven got out her phone and typed in her passcode which everyone around knew was 0666.

"What things are you into, Lexa?" Maya asked, sweetly.

"BDSM, I bet," suggested Raven.

"Shut up, Raven. You've scared her enough."

"I suppose I like cooking. I like books and history. I play ice hockey sometimes, and I practise karate. I like to, um, to take pictures."

"You got any pets?"

"A dog. Her name is Becca. But I wish I had more."

"Any plans for next year, or after college?"

"I'm applying for a scholarship to Harvard. I would like to study law."

"So you wanna be a lawyer?"

"I suppose so. Yes."

 " _Legally Blonde_ style. Wait a second. Your surname is Woods, right?"

Lexa nodded.

"Lexa Woods. Guys! Elle Woods. L. Woods!" Everyone around the table laughed at Raven's joke, while Lexa stared, blankly. No one appeared to notice she didn't even understand.

"But I would also like to be an archaeologist. Or a marine biologist because those subjects fascinate me."

"You a feminist?"

"Intersectional, yes."

"Good."

"Oh no, not another one," Jasper complained.

"Fuck off, Jasper. You're the only one around the table who isn't one. Even your own girlfriend thinks you're full of shit."

"I support equal rights and everything, Raven. I just think that sometimes men have it hard, too, and the name makes it sound like it's all about women."

"You get all of humanity named after you. Mankind? I think we can have this one movement dedicated to helping women who by the way are less privileged than men."

"Do you play any instruments, Lexa?" Maya asked to diffuse the tension.

"The harp."

Raven had been sipping from her can of soda and began coughing. Clarke was worried that she was joking and would need medical attention, but thankfully, she recovered herself so she could shout, "OH MY FUCKING GOD! ARE YOU SERIOUS? THE HARP?"

"That must have been very expensive."

"I expect it was. I was, um, bought it when I was very young and I've kept it very carefully since then."

"Do you have lessons?"

"No. I teach myself, over the internet."

"Got any siblings?"

"Come on. We shouldn't be interrogating her."

"No, Clarke, it's fine. I'll finish this question. I have two sisters. There's Anya who is twenty two. And I have a cousin I live with. He's twelve and his name is Aden. He's like a brother, though."

"Is Anya Miss Woods?"

"Raven, stop."

"Sorry. I just wanted to know-"

"Yes, she is."

"I guess I was wrong then, that you're having an affair with her."

"Oh, what she means is we saw you getting in the car together the other day. So she's your half sister?"

"We have different mothers, yes, but that doesn't make her any less my sister!" This sentence started steadily, but Lexa's voice rose to almost a shout for the last three words.

"I agree with her. What does biology matter. Octavia and Bellamy have different dads, but they're the closest siblings I've ever seen," stated Clarke.

"Hey, hey, back up, I wasn't checking whether or not they were. Ah, finally, the quiz loaded." Raven handed over her phone. All those close enough to Lexa bent over her to watch as she clicked she was a female under the age of eighteen. "Pretty damn cissexist that they only have male and female options. What did you put when you took it, Monroe?"

"Female," Monroe said. Monroe was non-binary, though tended to use female pronouns, and referred to herself as a lesbian.

"Oh no, it's that damn question about what she would pick to look at in the garden."

"The golden apples, obviously."

"What are you on about, Griffin? It's the swirling water. Lexa, you're kidding. The fucking talking mushrooms? Who wants to investigate talking mushrooms?"

"I'd be interested to know why they were talking."

"Okay, there's something wrong with you." This was how Lexa's progress with the quiz went on, she would answer a question with Raven either telling her what a good choice she had made or gritting her teeth and shaking her head. Finally, the results came through.

Lexa was a Ravenclaw, eighty percent Ravenclaw. She was secondly a Hufflepuff, thirdly by only two percent a Slytherin and finally a Gryffindor.

"Is this a good thing? I always liked the sound of being a Ravenclaw when I read the books. You get asked puzzles when you enter the common room."

"Yes, girl, Ravenclaw is the best house."

"But I'm the least Gryffindor. Does that mean I'm not brave?"

"Course not. My last house is Hufflepuff but that doesn't mean I'm not loyal," Raven said. "Octavia's last house was Ravenclaw but she's smart...sort of." Octavia gave Raven a look that could have choked her to death were facial expressions able to commit murder. "Anyway, welcome to Hogwarts, Lexa Woods. You're pretty cool, I guess, and Clarke doesn't seem to mind you, so you can hang out with us. But first, there is a sacred ceremony. Octavia has to add you to the group chat."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case anyone was worried after reading this chapter, Monty is definitely not straight.


	4. Chapter 4

Lexa's phone pinged as she walked along the hallway. It almost always made that sound now. The group chat - known as 'Squad Goats' with about five goat emojis afterwards was always sending her spam. Mostly, it was Raven, Octavia and Miller sending in memes of Donald Trump. Those three appeared to be the jokers of the group.

She was glad to have these people as her friends. Even if she had met them only a little over a week ago now, there was something about having their presence in this world she had never experienced before that made her feel safe, reassured. She had never been one to have friends. When you are home schooled, you are robbed of one place where you can meet loads of new people. Lexa had never minded being taught at home. Her being the kind of person who worked hard for top grades preferred sitting along in a room with her uncle, being able to ask him every question she needed to know, and choose which topics she delved into. Six hours of lessons three days a week while she spent the other days learning for herself from her computer.

Those lessons should have finished a long time ago. Aden had started middle school the year before. Anya got her job at Ark High the year before as well. That was how Lexa managed to get her spot there. Sometimes, she felt like she was being selfish, having to have her uncle teaching her when he needed work. He was raising two kids and his adult niece, as well as a dog, on a low salary, earned from his weekend job and a poorly-paid job he worked on the two days he wasn't teaching Lexa. She should have handed her education to the government a long time before. Gustus got the job offer at the start of the summer, but he would have to be free Monday to Friday if he wanted it. Sending Lexa to high school was his only choice. It would do her good to get out there and meet some people her own age.

So yes, that was it, Lexa had had so few friends in her life. Aden was her friend but they lived in the same house so they had to get on, that was not optional. She talked with Lincoln and Emori and Indra down at Polaris, once a week, whenever she had time. Costia had been one of her friends, then her girlfriend, but after their breakup, the two rarely spoke. Luna had been her friend. Even back when Lexa went to elementary school, before she moved in with her uncle, she had been the weird kid who would rather read books during recess than play tag (and when she did play tag, she got too competitive and ended up being told she could no longer play because she had knocked people over).

This morning, she had overslept. That was a first. It was always the night terrors that woke her up before five am but this morning, she had awoken at seven thirty. She had not had time for breakfast, or to do makeup, only to get dressed and get on the bus. Anya only ever came in later in the day, so she could not get a lift with her. Thankfully, she always packed her bag the night before. The second she stepped in through the school gates, she headed straight for the bathrooms.

Harper and Monty sat opposite each other on the front steps of the school. They were deep in conversation, so she swerved left to avoid them. Maya and Jasper were in the corridor, holding hands while staring into each other's' eyes. She greeted them as she passed which seemed unable to fully distract them.

She pushed open the door to the girls' bathroom, just a crack so she could check if it was empty. For some reason, people seeing her do her makeup gave her a sensation of uneasiness. No one was there. She continued in.

There were three sinks, set into the murky green plastic, in front of one long mirror, and five stalls behind. She had just taken her brand new bottle of liquid eyeliner from her bag, when Octavia came in and positioned herself in front of the mirror.

"Hello, Octavia."

"Oh, hi Lexa." She combed through her long, dark hair with her hands. "Clarke told me she told you about the thing with Raven. Raven's kind of like that, always trying to set me up with people. Could do with getting laid herself. But you know, she's my best friend."

"Yes, I can tell you too are close."

"Two years now. So about Lincoln, is he...single?"

"I don't know. We tend to not talk about our personal lives. When did you first meet him?"

"About a month ago. Indra doesn't usually like me coming to work with her, but one day she had to."

"Indra? How do you know her?"

"She's my foster mom. Didn't you know that?"

"No. You didn't tell me." Lexa decided they were both friends in here and unscrewed the top off the eyeliner.

"What is that?"

"My new eyeliner."

"Looks messy."

Lexa turned to her. "The woman in the shop said it was one of their best selling makeups. It's new." She picked up the brush, glossy with thick, black paint.

"Seems a little much you got there."

Lexa began to apply to her left eye. She finished doing the top lid and to get out some more eyeliner, squeezed the stick so that more would rise to the brush. However, she may have squeezed too much. A large blob of eyeliner spurted from the end of the brush, landing on her waterline and dribbling down her cheek, coming to a rest after forming three long lines. Octavia chuckled. "You look like a panda. Or-or a racoon! Lexacoon!" Lexa could see why Octavia and Raven were best friends. Despite Raven being the more lively and smiley of the two, they had the same immature sense of humour. She tried to keep in a smile as she admired her reflection. Before she could stop her, Octavia snapped a picture on her phone.

"Posting it to the group chat."

"Octavia, no!"

"Octavia, yes." She sent through the photo and then put her phone back into her pocket as Lexa's own sent her a notification.

"Do you happen to have makeup wipes?"

"Sorry, no. You'll probably be able to get it off if you wet some toilet paper."

"Thanks for the help," said Lexa, sarcastically, as she retreated into a bathroom stool with a small square of toilet paper. She dampened it under the sink and wiped around her eyes. The black only seemed to be spreading, down to the level of her mouth and across her chin, yet the layer was becoming fainter and thinner.

"Do you have any eyeliner I could borrow?" Lexa said as she tossed the now empty and broken container in the trash can, and twisted the tap so a steady flow of water ran black stains down the plug hole.

"Yeah, sure. They say you could transfer eye infections from sharing eyeliner, but if you die of an eye infection, they'll never know it was me. I can tell them it was Raven."

Octavia did not use liquid eyeliner, but instead had a kohl pencil. Lexa had never used one before, but she figured it was pretty simplistic to draw around your eyes, with a pencil instead. She decided not to go with wings today and finished by joining the top and bottom lines.

"Thank you, Octavia."

"No problem. What you got today?"

"I have a free period first, actually. I've rented out a music room to practise the harp."

"Damn. Would've liked to be there for that. I have Gym in about," she checked her watch on her left hand. "Ten minutes."

"It's perfectly alright. Clarke was going to come with me." Lexa swung her backpack over her shoulders while Octavia nodded her satisfaction at her own appearance. They left the bathroom together, side by side, to the corridor, just as the school bell for period one chimed five times. Ahead of them, a blonde and a black-haired girl walked beside a brunette on crutches.

"Yo, Griffin, Reyes, Vie!" Octavia shouted. It was not loud enough, for not one of the three girls reacted. "HEY, RAVEN!"

Raven pivoted herself around by moving her stick behind her back and propelling the rest of her body to face in that direction. Her face lit up with delight. "What up, Lexacoon?"

Octavia sprinted up to them, with Lexa trailing behind her. Clarke and Maya had stopped walking and formed a semi-circle. Clarke looked lovely that day; her white blonde hair had a slight wave to it, as if she had washed it early that morning. She wore a plain, sky blue t-shirt. That color brought out her eyes which were most exquisitely blue and round. Today, she saw, for the first time, there was a tiny beauty mark above Clarke's lips.

"Come on, Raven, leave her," Maya protested.

"You make an adorable raccoon, Lexa," Clarke said, taking her by her forearm, just below her elbow. "You're not a true member of the squad until you've been compared to an animal."

"What are you?"

"Well, according to most people, I'm a lion. But, Raven insists I'm a puppy, so everyone calls me a puppy."

Clarke did not in the slightest resemble a puppy. "I assume you're a raven?" she asked Raven.

"Nah, she's a rhino," Octavia said, sarcastically.

"Clarke? Are you ready?"

"Yeah, see you guys later." Clarke's hand moved further up her arm until it was on her wrist. She lead her out in the fresh air. Freshmen standing out on the front steps were checking their timetables, still unfamiliar with where each classroom was. The music block was separate to the rest of the school, a tiny building just in front of the football field.

Clarke walked with a brisk pace, blindly. She was walking so fast, not looking where she was going, that she walked straight into a boy in a black rain jacket, he fell to the ground.

"Watch where you're going, Clarke," he said, disgruntled. He was white, floppy, unkempt hair falling down onto his forehead and had a broad nose, the feature that stood out most strongly on his face. He looked like your typical teen TV series bad boy, ungrateful and rude character who actually turned out to have a soft spot for sweet yet insecure girl. His love for her always excused his treatment of everyone else.

"Sorry."

"Yeah, well, they all say that, don't they?" He picked himself up and brushed down his jacket, pushed his hair backwards. "Should probably let you know I'm having a party round at mine on Saturday. It starts at nine. 'Told good old Nathan already, but in case the message didn't get round, you can bring Raven and Octavia and all them. And your new friend if you want." He was looking at Lexa.

"Lexa. It's nice to meet you."

"Yeah, I'm John, whatever. Oh, Clarke, try not to fuck my sister. See ya."

"That's Murphy," Clarke told Lexa once he was gone. "His party's are usually fun."

"I've never been to a house party," said Lexa.

"You should. It's like an essential high school experience."

"I-." Lexa knew what her excuse would be. It was the excuse she had gotten used to using: she had to work hard, get good grades on her SATs, go to Harvard. "I'll see. What did he mean...that thing about his sister?"

"His sister's Niylah. Do you know her?"

"I think so. The blonde girl with the thin face?

"Yeah, her. It's complicated."

Lexa did not understand what could be too complicated about if Clarke was regularly having sex with Niylah Murphy. People said, "it's complicated," as far as she could tell, when they were uncertain of the relationship status. Lexa was respectful of people's boundaries. She knew she would hate for people to find out her own personal matters, so she asked no more.

They reached the small white center. "They built this place the year before I started here. One of the kids who was a senior last year was here when they were getting students to do charity events to raise enough money to build it. He said they gave out three Six Flags tickets to the person who raised the most."

M3 was the room Lexa had been told she could use. Through the window set into the door, she could see three harps, lined up, ready for her use.

Inside, Clarke seated herself on a plastic stool and watched as Lexa moved the harp keys into the position for C major. She balanced the great wooden instrument on her knees as she played a C major scale, all the way from the very bottom red string to the string at the top, then down again, quickly, just to check every note was in tune. Her fingers were rough; if she were to go a week or more without playing, their tips would revert to being soft and supple and on returning to practising, painful dents would be temporarily imprinted upon her skin. She had been told she had the right hands for playing the harp, or the piano for that matter. People said, her fingers were long and slender, able to reach the great distance to play the chord of an octave with only one hand. She had to trim her fingernails regularly so they would not get caught on the wrong notes.

She began to play. She did not need to look at music for she had played this song about three times every day since the start of June so that her arm muscles knew the movements by heart. This song was as familiar to her as her journey to work every Saturday.

Not looking at Clarke as she played. Her finger had slipped and she had ended up playing a chord instead of just a single note with the right hand, so she hoped Clarke had not heard that. When she was done, she turned to Clarke, who appeared to have been listening intently the whole way through and now, began to applaud.

"What's that song called?"

"Wonderland by Taylor Swift."

"You're a Taylor Swift fan?"

"Yes, I love her music. Do you know her?"

"Lexa, do you think she's some obscure, hipster artist? Taylor Swift is one of the most famous singers in the world. Of course I know who she is. I don't really listen to her music. It's not my type of thing. I know the basics; Blank Space and, what's it called? Bad Blood. And Wildest Dreams. Those are the latest ones?"

"The entire 1989 album came out last year so I wouldn't call them new, but yes, if you're going by when the singles were released, they are relatively new, Clarke."

"You're good. The harp has such a beautiful sound-"

"I know. That's why I play it, Clarke."

"I'm sure Octavia would have some ideas about getting you to join the band."

"Clarke, how _are_ you band rehearsals going?"

"I don't know. We haven't practised in a while. Octavia wants to get things going but we can never find a day where we're all free."

Lexa could think of no response to give. She knew Clarke was not overly enthusiastic about the band, but enjoyed playing her ukulele and guitar. She knew if they could not find a day to practise before the exam season came along, they certainly would not be able to find time in future. "Would you like me to play you another song?"

"If you want to." She leant back against the wall, and Lexa picked out a dimple on her chin, only visible from this position.

"This song is Love Story. It's also by Taylor Swift."

"I think I know that one."

Lexa's fingers glided up and down. She had this song on her phone, one of her favorites, despite the love story Taylor Swift described being horribly heteronormative. With other heterosexual songs, she sometimes changed pronouns in her head; with most Taylor Swift songs, she could just change a he into a she, a boy into a girl. This one frequently referred to the man as Romeo, which Lexa could not think of a female alternative to, and if she were to change "prince" into "princess" the rhythm would be lost.

As she reached the chorus, she noticed the singing was no longer just in her head. Clarke was muttering the lines to herself, in what sounded like a voice suitable for country music. "I keep waiting for you but you never come," she sang, a little louder.

"No, Clarke, that's the third chorus," said Lexa, tipping the harp back down so it was now at a ninety degree angle from the floor.

"What is it then?"

"That time, it's 'I'll be waiting; all you have to do is run.'"

"At least I know the song. You can carry on playing if you want."

"No. I have other work I should be doing now."

"Come on, Lexa, you always have work to do."

"Work is important, Clarke. I want to get top grades on my SATs. I've not had as much of an education as you."

Clarke got up. Her pace was slower as she moved towards Lexa. She exerted that air of dominance, being able to convince anyone to abide by her terms, something that Raven said made Clarke very clearly a Slytherin. Her presence was so large, even though she was a few inches shorter than Lexa.

"You have to have fun. Take it from me. Freshmen year, I was like this. I didn't make friends that easily. I had Wells but we were growing apart. He was my friend when I was a kid and he lives next door to me."

"That's why Principal Jaha knew you so well."

"Yeah. I didn't have Raven. Octavia joined later, but when I started making friends, I realised that if anything, they helped. I felt less stressed about work with them to hang out with. Having friends, it makes you stronger."

"I just need to get a scholarship." Lexa said no more. She was too ashamed to admit that she did not have enough money to pay the full price for the school. Clarke would not understand, she had done all the tests she needed to the year before, and Clarke had said her grades were high. Not exceptionally high, not like Raven's. Not whatever she would need to get her scholarship. But enough that she would get into a good college of her own, sans the scholarship, but her mother would be able to afford it.

Clarke reached up and touched her shoulder with her left hand, covered in drawings and crosses in pen. "It would mean a lot if you could come to the party. You're my friend, and I'd like to see you there. I could come to your house before and help you choose what to wear."

What would Clarke think, though, upon seeing Lexa's house? She had money, it was evident. Clarke had told her that her mother was a head doctor at a nearby hospital. Lexa had seen the shiny, new car Wells drove Clarke and Raven home in, so if he was her neighbour, they must live in a rea. Furthermore, her art materials were of the highest standard, like she replaced them every month. The clothes she wore: a different set everyday from labels like _Hollister, Brandy Melville_  which, while not expensive, were too pricey for Lexa to even consider buying despite some of their items being aesthetically appealing for her. Yesterday morning, Clarke had carried a _Victoria's Secret_ bag to school. All it had in was some art materials; too many to carry in her hands, but the fact that she could afford to shop at that store indicated her wealth. In class, Lexa had seen her unpack her bag. She had pulled out a perfume bottle. It was from  _Chanel._

But Clarke was not judgemental of things. What had she to worry about. She had told her she was an intersectional feminist, bisexual. She was not saying bisexual girls could not be classist but she did not seem the type. If she was, that would tell her to back the hell out of their short-lived friendship. She took a chance, for once.

"I'll ask my uncle."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N This chapter contains mention of child abuse, eating disorders and a drug overdose, as well as underage drinking.

Lexa moved her fingers through Clarke's hair, gently weaving together strands down the back of her head. Her touch was light, so as to not hurt her in anyway, pulling each piece of hair slowly. As Clarke sat on the end of Lexa's bed, she looked around the room for the first time. Candles. There were candles everywhere, on the window sill, on top of her closet, on the bedside table, on the floor on either side of the door. There was an abundance of different colors, some in jars, some without them, some short, some tall, some wide and some thin. Clarke did not think it would be possible for someone to own so many candles. Why would you want them anyway? She admitted some had good smells, though could not begin to fathom what anyone found appealing about the candles scented like flowers.

Most of her wall was covered with photos she had taken, many of them the ones on her instagram account but some being ones of her posing with a little blonde boy whom Clarke had met downstairs, a tall bearded man and Miss Woods. They were all done on paper which meant they were crumpled and creased. What wall space was left was painted lime green. The curtains that dangled limply from above her small window were a much darker green and some had been torn from their hoops.

Glow-in-the-dark stars on ceiling would make some think of the bedroom of an eight year old girl, but Clarke knew the appeal of stars, even if they were tacky right now. At night, they probably shone like the stars in her paintings (once she had sprinkled some glitter on them).

From the corner of her eye, she saw the fairy lights, switched off right now, surrounding a series of magazine cuttings of female celebrities. There were quite a few of Taylor Swift, but there were also some of Malala Yousafzai and she saw one of Amandla Stenberg. She had written some positivity quotes in purple gel pen on post-it notes and there was that piece of art Clarke had seen on tumblr quite a few times which was a copy of the Rosie the Riveter poster, except it read "We All Can Do It!" and had a black woman, an Asian woman and an Arab woman with a hijab doing the pose.

The harp on the floor occupied a large area of space in the bedroom which was already considerably small; Lexa had no desk and the only chair was the one next to the harp. She pondered where Lexa did her homework: did she do it sitting on her bed, or go downstairs? Clarke's sight focused on a miniature rainbow flag which stood up next to one of the candles by the window.

"All done," Lexa said, moving a few feet away from her.

Clarke patted down the back of her head. She could feel a large braid going down the middle, intersected by another, horizontal braid. "Thank you. Lexa, would you mind taking a picture?"

"No, not at all." Lexa handed Clarke her phone which she proceeded to unlock for her and gave it back, open on the camera app. "It's called half-up mermaid braids. I saw a youtube video for how to do it."

"There are a lot of things you're good at."

"Yes, that is true. But I can't paint, not at all like you can."

"That's not true, Lexa. I'm not even that good at art. It's just a hobby."

"Is it? Octavia told me you want to be an artist."

"Yeah, I do. I'm going to study it at college, but I know I'm not good enough. I'll be a doctor, like my mom."

"I suppose it makes more money. If I could have any job, I would want to be a marine biologist. Or an archaeologist.But law is the only viable option. So I understand."

"A marine biologist."

"I find the sea so interesting. There are creatures like jellyfish, which are beautiful, yet deadly. Or there are a type of blue slug, known as blue angels, because that's what they look like. But they can swallow the most venomous of sea creatures. Then, they store their toxins and can release them in a sting. And there's something called the black swallower. This one is terrifying. It lives in the deep sea, and looks harmless; it's only twenty five centimeters long at a maximum! But it has a stomach that stretches and it can swallow creatures up to ten times its own mass. It swallows them whole as well."

Clarke typed "black swallower" into google images and a picture came up after a short while. "Oh my God. It looks like the other fish is just sticking out of its stomach."

"I know."

"You're such a nerd."

"Oh, thank you, Clarke. I didn't know that. It isn't like Octavia tells me all the time."

"Okay. Do you want me to choose something for you to wear while you do your own hair."

"Yes please."

Clarke made her way over to the closet, and thought again of the rainbow flag. "So are you an ally?"

"What?"

"The flag, over there." She pointed to it.

"No. I'm a lesbian."

"Oh. Oh, of course."

"What?"

"I guess I didn't expect that."

Lexa cocked her head as Clarke pulled the closet doors open. "Why not?"

"Because of the candles, and Taylor Swift. They just seem like really straight girl things. But I guess not. Are you out?"

"Yes, my uncle knows, and Anya knows, and I taught Aden about it when he was really young."

"Really young?"

"I told them when I was thirteen. I'd always known I liked girls but I didn't know what it was, or that it was different until I was eleven. And at that time, I was living with my...biological parents. Even though I think they suspected, it was not safe for me to actually tell them."

Clarke knew not to ask, she knew to keep boundaries. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault. I love my uncle and I live with him now. What about you?"

"What about me what?"

"When did you realize that you were bi?"

"Oh, right. Yes, it was when I was fifteen I think. It was because I was on tumblr, and I joined the  _Supernatural_ fandom. And everyone was shipping gay ships, as in between men, but villainising all the female characters. I'm ashamed of that. I'm ashamed I liked the show, period. But when I began to realize how bad it was, this was when the show was about halfway through its eighth season, and I was getting bored, I heard people talking about the queer baiting on the show. I followed them to their other shows. I was already watching _Glee_ and a lesbian couple had just started becoming a part of the story, and I was recommended to watch  _Lost Girl,_ and  _Orphan Black,_ which had just had its first season. I realised then that I was kind of obsessed with the queer couples. And then I realised that  was because that was what I wanted. And I realised that I was actually attracted to girls, because for a long time, I had been checking girls out, then convincing myself I was straight and was just jealous of them. I told my friends at the start of sophomore year and they realised they were queer, too, but I've never really had the chance to tell my mom."

"I see."

"Hmm." Clarke pulled aside the few hangers of clothing Lexa owned. It was mostly oversized sweaters which were far too warm to wear this early in the Fall. She counted three plaid shirts and Clarke saw the gay side of Lexa emerging. "What about this?" It was a black crop top with a halter neckline and tiny silver sequins. She found a pair of what was the least worn out pair of shorts in the closet and paired the two up. Lexa had finished brushing her own hair into two French braids and secured the second with a hair elastic.

"I don't know. It's your choice, Clarke. I wouldn't know what to wear."

"I say it's good then. Wait."

"What is it?"

"There's some mascara in the corner of your eye. Come here."

Lexa moved close to her and Clarke marvelled at her green eyes as she held Lexa by the shoulder and gently pulled the black lump with the nail of her index finger. "Here it is. Make a wish."

"Isn't that only with eyelashes?"

"Mascara is a part of your eyelash."

Lexa squeezed her eyes shut as she made her wish. "Will Octavia and Raven be there?" she asked when she was able to see again.

"Octavia will." Clarke turned her back on Lexa as she lifted her sweater up over her head. Clarke herself had a pink, thin, low cut shirt with spaghetti straps and a short black skirt, a shining pink and black gem necklace tied around her throat, as well as a pair of heeled boots. It was what Raven referred to as her "sexy outfit." Clarke was going for a sexy look tonight. "And Raven went to the gym with her so she might be there, but she's a little anxious at parties for obvious reasons."

"What obvious reasons?"

"Oh, I just guessed you knew. I should stop assuming things. You know how Raven walks with crutches?"

"Yes..." Lexa said slowly.

"Well, it was back in March, but we were at a party round at Miller's. He has a big house, and it was probably about midnight and I was with Raven and Octavia. We were all really wasted and Murphy offered us a lift home. I think he was a bit drunk, nowhere near as much as us. He was driving and he made us all sit in the back. I don't know why Niylah wasn't there with him. So I was on one side and Octavia was on the other side and Raven was in the middle, but it was one of those cars where the middle seat doesn't have a seat belt, so we just left it. And then, we hit another car."

"What happened?"

"Murphy was knocked out. Octavia and I were awake and the cops came and pulled us out. But Raven flew forwards and went through the window. And, she was in hospital in a coma for a few days, for an operation, because she had glass lodged in her leg. But there was nerve damage in her left leg and the bottom half of her leg doesn't work. I won't bore you with the medical details."

"I can see why she would be afraid of going to parties."

"Yeah, I'm a little nervous myself. It teaches me I should just sleep over."

"Will she recover?"

"They don't know. She has chronic pain, which makes it difficult for her sometimes, and she has treatments to relieve pain. She spends a lot of time in the gym, physiotherapy. She says it's good to be a mechanic, your hands are more important. Are you done changing?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to go?"

"Let me just put on a necklace." She went back to her closet while Clarke retreated to the bed and looked at the single photo frame, with a picture of three preteen girls inside. The first was Lexa, her face wider than it was in the present, and her hair in two fat pigtails. Next to her was a biracial girl with a triangular face, the glossiest black hair and green eyes, and beside her a girl with olive skin, thick eyebrows and enormous red hair.

"You look so cute. Who are these girls?"

Lexa turned back to her, tying a tiny silver necklace around her neck. When it fell freely, Clarke saw it had a small infinity sign charm. "Oh, those were my best friends when I was younger. And Costia, the one in the middle, she's my ex-girlfriend," she said, anxiously.

"You've had a girlfriend?"

"Yes, Clarke. I'm better with the ladies than I might appear."

"No, I'm not doubting your skill with the ladies. You're a very attractive person." Lexa's cheeks flushed red at Clarke's remark. "It's just harder to find a girlfriend, or a boyfriend in my case, but all the queer girls I know are my close friends. It would be hard to see them any other way."

"Costia was my best friend since elementary school. That might have been why it didn't work between us. We only dated for three months, but I loved her. And we still talk, just not as much. We don't live that close anymore."

"Well, they do say your soulmate is meant to be your best friend, but I can't see myself dating Octavia or Raven, though I can definitely see those two dating. And the other girl?"

"Luna. She was also my friend in elementary school."

"Do you still see her?"

"No. She went missing a year ago. Shall we leave?" she asked with false satisfaction.

"Lexa?" Clarke asked, but Lexa had left the room. Clarke sighed, dragging her hand across her head, and went after her.

* * *

 "FUCK THE POLICE!" a girl in a leather jacket shrilled. She dashed past them with a sloppiness in her step, her black hair whipping behind her.

"That was Octavia," Clarke said, as her and Lexa crossed the Murphy front lawn. On the front porch were Jasper and Monty, leaning against each other, with their lit rolls of cannabis between their teeth. Lexa was pinching her nose to block out the smell.

"Lexaaaaaa!" shouted Jasper.

"Hey Clarke." Niylah stood in the house doorway, in a short, sparkling dress with a v-neck.

"WHO'S READY FOR THE CHICKS MAKING OUT?" Jasper screeched. If both him and Monty were equally high or as drunk or a mix of the two, Monty was still more sensible, simply smiling at them with glazed over eyes, while holding his friend's shoulder.

"I'll be right back, Niylah. I'll just get me and Lexa some drinks."

"I'll be waiting in my room," she answered.

Murphy's house was nowhere near as big as Miller's. The two of them threw the most parties. Yet, somehow, they fitted all these kids in, not just from her grade. Sure, she saw people she knew; Roma and Sterling were drinking together on the bottom stair as Niylah slunk past them, Harper and the man himself, Murphy were leaning against the wall.

"Fuck off, Murphy," she heard Harper say as she passed him.

"I thought you found it difficult to find a girlfriend?" Lexa asked. "Niylah is interested in you. And you seem interested in her. Why don't you date her?"

"We've made out before at parties. A lot. But when we're not drunk, I don't think we have enough in common other than how much we like making out with each other. I know, I'm being picky."

"Have you had sex with her before?"

"No. I am, sadly, a virgin. No, I don't really care. I'm nearly eighteen, most high school movies would make that out to be a bad thing, but I don't give a damn about that. Okay, maybe I do a little. But I don't want to do something I'll regret while I'm drunk." On the journey there, in the back of the old car driven by Lexa's sister, Lexa had not said a word about Luna. What struck Clarke was how casually she had said it: " _She went missing a year ago. Shall we leave?_ " All she could think of when she heard the name Luna, was Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter, even if this Luna was not blonde, or white, or a witch as far as she knew.

In the kitchen,  _Whip My Hair_ by Willow Smith was playing. Raven had pulled her hair from its ponytail and was headbanging, down to her bra, while a girl with curly brown hair, probably a few years older than Raven held her around the waist. Their faces were close, their lips near enough to be kissing.

"I'm glad to see she's fine. What do you want, Lexa? Vodka? Beer? Rum? Want me to make you a cocktail?"

"I think I can handle the drink on its own. Please may I have some of the vodka?"

"Your wish is my command. I think I'll have some of that, too." She poured them two drinks into shot glasses.

"Do I sip it?"

"No. Do it in one gulp."

Lexa opened her mouth wide, tilted back her head, and let the vodka go down her throat. She started to cough, before recovering. "That's good."

"I know. To soak up the alcohol a bit, you're going to need to eat, so get yourself a sandwich. They probably have veggie ones. And drink some water. Also, maybe wait at least ten minutes before your next one. Got it?"

"Yes, Clarke. I know what to do."

Clarke turned, drink in hand. She needed a few before she could go upstairs, two or three maybe, but enough that she was still in control of her actions. Octavia had come back into the house and brought Jasper with her. They were standing on the centre kitchen surface. She had a huge open packet of chips which she was attempting to throw into shot glasses, while people around her, Raven and the curly-haired girl included, were cheering them on.

"DOWN WITH TRUMP! DOWN WITH TRUMP!" Octavia bellowed at the top of her lungs. Smiling, Clarke walked to the couch and planted herself on the middle cushion.

"Clarke?" said a boy's voice from behind her.

"Yes?" Miller walked into her vision, standing in front of her.

"Have you seen Monty?"

"I saw him just a few minutes ago. He was smoking outside with Jasper. Except Jasper's up there now."

He groaned. "Everyone says they saw him with Jasper."

"Have you tried Harper? They've been spending a lot of time together recently."

"True. Do you mind if I take your drink? I need something right now."

Clarke did mind but she said "Not at all." Miller took the shot, patted her on the shoulder as some form of male gratitude, then ran off into the crowd. She wondered why he needed to find Monty so desperately. She inched herself back off the couch and noticed her necklace had twisted around so that the clip was facing the front. She put it right again before stepping up to fetch herself another drink. She was confronted, then, by a muscular guy with a shaven head in a red hoodie. Lincoln.

"Sorry, are you Clarke? My friend, Lexa, she told me to tell you that she loves you and you're an amazing friend. I think she's a bit drunk."

"She can't have had that much to drink. It's been about five minutes since we got here."

"So you do know her? That would have been embarrassing if I got the wrong person. I'm Lincoln," he said.

"I know. Lexa told us you work with her."

"I've seen you at the bookstore before. You and your friend with the brown hair."

"Which one?"

"The scary looking one. Always dressed in black leather?"

"Oh, Octavia." Clearly he had not noticed her cheering behind him as she got another chip to land in a shot glass.

"That's her there, isn't it?" So he had seen her.

"Yes," Clarke said. "That's her."

"She's very beautiful."

"Tell me about it. That jawline and those eyes. You haven't even seen her muscles. She's always at the gym with Raven, my other friend."

"Oh, I'm at the gym quite often, maybe I'll get to see her there."

Clarke felt a surge of delight rise in her chest for her friend of the possibility of her going on a date with this handsome stranger who was very interested in her.

"How do you know Murph-John or Niylah?"

" _I_ don't. I'm here with my friend, Emori. She knows John. I'm only staying a while. Do you think, when Octavia's sober, you could tell her that I'd like to talk to her next time? Or something?"

"I will. Do you...want to get something to drink?"

"Of course." They went back to the drinks table where Monroe was just giving the last can of beer to a junior.

"Sorry, Clarke, we're all out."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I think Monty and Harper went to pick up some more." Miller would have trouble finding them. "Everyone says it will take them a while. I heard they're going to get back together." She rolled her eyes. Most people strongly disliked to the strange and forced relationship that had materialized between Harper and Monty during early May of 2015. By the time Summer vacation came around, they were both single, again. Obviously, Monty and Harper were great friends, granted not as close as Monty was to Jasper or Clarke was to Octavia and Raven, but still close. It would be like if Clarke were to date Octavia's brother Bellamy, or something, working great as a friendship, but falling apart when romantic.

"I'll wait. So, Lincoln, how old are you?"

"I'm eighteen. I'll be nineteen soon."

"Are you at college?"

"Yeah. My family lives in DC but I'm down here for art school."

"You're an artist?"

"Yes I am."

"Is the school good? It's just, I want to be an artist when I'm older."

"It's a very good school. A boy in his final year got one of his pieces put in the Metropolitan. He made a treehouse, it was probably about three meters high, out of matchsticks. You should definitely consider applying. I take art history classes in my free time."

They continued to talk for a while, discussing how the program was. They moved onto the topic of her own exams. He had gotten mostly high grades when he was at school, but would have rather gone to an art school, especially at a lower cost. Clarke was tempted to ask if he knew about Luna and her disappearance. She had grasped that his and Lexa's relationship was one of friendship, not close friendship, but she had his number on her phone and they saw each other every Saturday. However, she reminded herself once more that it was Lexa's own decision whether or not disclose the whole story with her, and she was not, going behind her back.

"I'll pass the message on to Octavia. I have to get something to eat." At the snack table, she took a handful of cheese doritos. She had eaten back at her house, before she left for Lexa's, a quick pot of noodles because she had spent the whole afternoon on tumblr, and lost track of time. That had been more than four hours ago, and she was hungry again. The clock on the wall read it was 10.25 pm. Her and Lexa had arrived at quarter two, when the party had already started, so she had been here nearly forty five minutes. She must have been waiting at least half an hour for Monty and Harper to return with the drinks.

"Fuck it," she said. Niylah was upstairs, probably bored by now. After all, she had told her she was only having one drink, which did not usually take this long. Normally, you don't end up having to put up with others stealing your vodka. Clarke pushed back her hair and rubbed under her eyes to get rid of any smudged mascara. Then, with her heels clicking against the tiles of the kitchen floor, she made her way up the stairs.

"Niylah!" Clarke called, for the other girl was nowhere to be seen. At the sound of her name, she appeared from behind the door Clarke assumed lead to the bathroom.

"Took your time. It's a bit anti-climactic." Niylah strode towards Clarke and as their lips met, she pushed her up against the wall. Clarke only needed to tilt her head up a little; Niylah was two inches taller than her at maximum. Their noses smashed against each other as Clarke worked her tongue into Niylah's mouth. Niylah moved her hands away from the cream-colored wall and onto Clarke's hips, then began to lead her sideways to her left. Clarke had no idea where she was taking her. A golden rule of making out was to not open your eyes. It was all about the sense of touch, the sense of taste, occasionally the sense of smell.

Niylah moved away one of her hands from the grasp it had on Clarke's body. Clarke quickly peeked to see they were outside a bedroom door, and Niylah was twisting the knob. As she swung the door open, Clarke began to kiss her again but Niylah pulled away.

"Lexa? What are you doing in my room?"

"Lexa?" Clarke spun around. Her friend was sprawled across the spongy double bed, her hair coming loose from its braids and her shoes gone. In her lap, she cradled a large tabby cat, scratching its chin.

"Cat," she replied, though this answered little.

"She's drunk. Lexa, could you leave us?"

Lexa grabbed the cat and squeezed it tight against her chest. It clawed at the air, looking terrified. "No, I want to stay with the cat!"

Someone shouted Niylah's name from downstairs. "Shit," Niylah said. "That was John. Do you mind if I go see what he wants?"

"No, it's fine." As Niylah left them alone, the cat scratched Lexa's shoulder, causing Lexa to let go and it scampered after its owner.

"CAT!" Lexa shouted, as it vanished from sight. Clarke climbed up onto the bed next to her.

"Lexa, how much have you had to drink tonight?"

Lexa giggled. "Three."

"Three?" It wasn't that much, but it was if it was your first time drinking.

"I wanted another but-" She stopped in the middle of her sentence and covered her mouth. Her body was convulsing and Clarke knew she was about to throw up. She grabbed her friend by the hand, and placed her other hand on her back to steady her as she dragged her towards the bathroom.

"Hold it in," she instructed her. When they finally reached the toilet and Clarke had pulled the lid up, Lexa fell forwards onto her knees and vomited. Clarke looked away, not particularly wanting to see this. There was very little to dispose of, it seemed, for after about ten seconds, Lexa sat back up again, her face pale. "Can't hold your liquid, can you? I'm going to get you some water, stay right here."

A few minutes later, Clarke returned with a mug, filled with cold water. "Here, drink this. Slowly. You can't eat anything or drink anything for the rest of the night."

Lexa smiled and nodded as she sipped about a quarter of the drink down. Clarke flushed the toilet for her and then mopped her face with a cold towel.

"Feel any better?"

"A little. Clarke, my stomach hurts."

"It's normal. Believe me, I was like this my first time drinking. Except, I was a bit of a wild drunk while you just go round telling people you love them and cuddling cats." She patted her on the shoulder. "There, all better now."

"How do you know?"

"My mom's a doctor so I'm kind of a medical expert. Do you want to go back to the party?"

A tear slipped from Lexa's eye, which she quickly wiped away. But her breathing was growing more rapid and her eyes turning red. It was a sure-fire sign that she was about to start crying.

"Lexa, are you okay?"

"Clarke, it was so hard. I should have told you about Luna earlier. You told me the story about Raven."

"No, Lexa, it wasn't a secret. That's not something you should feel guilty about."

"But I shouldn't have to keep secrets from you." She rested her head back against the wall and Clarke shuffled along the floor to sit beside her, allowing her to rest her head against hers. "I met Luna and Costia in elementary school. We lived in a rich area, because my dad, he worked for the government, he even got to meet the president sometimes. My mom was his second wife because Anya's was his first, but he left her, because he had fallen in love with my mom and then she had me. And my dad, he always said he loved me, he liked me more than he liked Anya."

"That's horrible, Lexa."

"He would hit Anya sometimes. He never hit me, but it lead to some problems she had later in life. My mom did as well, she would always be emotionally abusing me and Anya. Neither of them liked me being friends with Luna, they didn't approve of her. And my mom said horrible things to Anya, if she didn't get back on time, she locked her out of the house all night, and I remember her crying because I was only twelve. She was just as bad as my dad, even if she never hit her, because she called her stupid, and called her names, and said she should be smarter because her mom was Asian, or things like that, even though she was smart. She teased her about her weight. Sometimes, when I talked about Costia and how pretty she was, she would tell me I wasn't allowed to say things like that about girls. She tried to stop me seeing her. My uncle tried to take us away from them for a long time but it was only when...Anya was taken into hospital...she overdosed and nearly died and when in hospital, they found out she had lost loads of weight. She'd been starving herself, and they found the bruises and they had to interview me. It was so scary, but then they gave my uncle custody over us instead." Lexa was letting out racking sobs while Clarke held her close. "My uncle wasn't rich, he didn't have much money, even for just him and his son. We got some money to send Anya to community college from the government, but it wasn't enough. He home schooled me, because he thought the trauma of what I'd been through would be too damaging. The only thing I'd been allowed to take from my own home was my harp."

"So have you seen your real-sorry-biological parents since then?"

"No. And I never want to see them again. But then, when I was finally getting happier, and I was dating Costia last year, Luna disappeared while she was on holiday. They thought she might have run away, but they never found a trace of her."

"It must be hard. I don't know what else to say to that."

Lexa chuckled.

"Whatever you had down there really messed up your emotions. You were being all cute and then all deep and emotional and now you're laughing."

"Because you're the first person I've ever been able to properly talk to about it. Well, my psychiatrist I tell her, but you're so nice, Clarke."

"I guess I can kind of imagine. When Raven was in hospital and none of us knew if she was okay, that was terrifying."

Lexa leaned slowly towards Clarke, unsure if she should touch her or not. Clarke gave her a nod of approval, and they wrapped their arms around each other. Lexa had seemed so cold when she first met her, not shy, just private, but in her arms, she was delicate and warm.

"Would you like to come downstairs and dance? It might cheer you up."

Hand in hand, they walked down the stairs again, and to the kitchen. It was a little less packed in here. Some had left, including Lincoln. He was nowhere to be seen. Octavia was still dancing wildly, grinding against Raven and the curly-haired girl, though moving much more than Raven was. Raven could only move one of her legs in the dance. Harper and Monroe were unpacking a white plastic bag. Out came a big, clear vodka bottle, as well as two six packs of beers. Clarke saw Miller dragging Monty out of the room, as if he had something important to discuss with him.

"I'll take two vodka shots, Monroe," Clarke asked her. Finally, she would have something to drink.

"I'd like another one, too, said Lexa.

"Lexa, you shouldn't be drinking anything."

"Just one more."

"Fine." Both of them took their shots and returned to the swarm of people in the living room, dancing. The lyrics to the song playing were inaudible, with all the drunk teenagers shouting over the top of them. Clarke took Lexa's arms and jumped up and down in the air with her, arms flailing. At some point, Clarke had to remove her own shoes too, for her feet were aching and she was sure she would have blisters in the morning. The alcohol dimmed the pain as she got herself two more. Lexa was smiling again, cheering along with everyone else, her dancing more wild than anyone's and belting out lyrics to completely the wrong songs.

Clarke danced with Octavia. They were close and before long, were kissing each other while boys whooped in the background. It was a bit of a stereotype that girls only made out when they were drunk (Though Clarke would have been perfectly willing to kiss girls while sober, maybe just not the same girls). Everyone was making out with each other drunk, whatever gender. Octavia kissed Raven at some point and Clarke seemed to remember kissing a boy, too. She thought it might have been Murphy, later on, which would have meant she'd had both Murphy siblings in one night.

By 2am, all the kids who were too old to still be in high school had gone, probably leaving for cooler college parties. Lexa was fast asleep in a corner. With Monroe's help, Clarke lifted her and placed her in the same curled up position but on the couch instead. A rolled up blanket stood above the couch, for when Niylah and Murphy were trying to watch television but in cold weather. Clarke unrolled it and covered Lexa with it, so only her head stuck out from the top. Lexa had told Anya on the drive over here that she would stay the night, so she knew she would not be going home. Lexa would not wake until late in the morning.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been ages since I last updated so sorry to anyone who is keeping up with the story. I've been a little busy with exams but all finished now so I'll be able to update more regularly.

Tick, tick, tick. The red hand shifted onto the bold number four of the shiny white clock on the shiny white wall. It was curious that every public institution, banks, hospitals, schools, post offices, always used the same brand of clock. Lexa supposed it was to look professional. It did not look professional to her. To her, it just added to the dreariness of the room.

On the slanted window above gleamed water droplets standing out against the gray sky above. It was funny to think that the night before it had been warm enough to go out in shorts and crop tops. It was still relatively warm outdoors, but humid. In here, the air conditioning whirred, spreading a slight chill over her. The woman before her, her psychiatrist, stared at her with the most kindness she could manage. Lexa knew she meant well, but she always had to check notes about Lexa before asking her questions about her personal life.

 _"So, you've just started the eleventh grade?"_ That had been a few weeks ago even though just the week before she had told her she was starting the twelfth grade. She wished that this person who was trying to help her would try to familiarise herself with patients. At least she got her name correct. Lexa had faced many occasions in life when she had been called Alex, Alexis, Lexi, Lexis and every variation of a name which had "lex" in it.

Another thing that annoyed Lexa about her was her refusal to give her any medication. Her sleeping issues were supposedly not terrible enough. Lexa got four hours of sleep a night on average. The best she had ever had was the night before. Two hours ago, Anya had come to pick her up from Murphy and Niylah's house. It had been 11am and she was fast asleep on the couch. Clarke, Octavia and Raven had already gone home. She had been sent to her first meeting at the clinic after a month or two of Luna being gone. It was the same place Anya had come to when she was eighteen and when she first got out of the hellhole that was her previous home. It had helped her. But the two sisters were not that similar. Apart from in looks, they had different coping mechanisms. Anya may have been able to talk about her problems but Lexa could not. All she could do was hide them, try not to think of her lost best friend and cry in her room as she flicked through the pictures of them together. She certainly would not spill her secrets to a woman who could not even remember how old she was, though she tried her best to cooperate.

"Have you made any friends?"

"Yes," Lexa murmured.

"Any nice boys?"

Lexa always had fun when she was asked about boys. She did not know how her psychiatrist would react to finding out she had absolutely no interest in anyone who was male. She thought there must be some kind of system to make sure people who had the job of working to assist other people were not prejudiced in any way, but she was still not that comfortable telling everyone, yet.

"Yes."

"What's his name?" the psychiatrist smiled.

A name came into Lexa's head. After all, it was a fairly gender neutral name. "Clarke," she replied.

"What does this Clarke look like?"

"He has...blonde hair and blue eyes and..." She could think of no other way to describe Clarke, but she applauded herself inside her head. She'd be sure to tell the others about it. She thought of using Octavia or Raven but she knew she would not be able to come up with any male equivalents fast enough for it to sound not suspicious. "I went to a party with him last night. And it's his birthday on Wednesday. I'm going shopping with friends to buy him a present today."

"Have you joined any school clubs?"

Lexa looked up, her eyebrows furrowed. Not this. Everyone had been nagging her to join clubs at school when she just did not have time what with her harp practise along with her mounds of homework.

"That's a no, then? Lexa, I really think it will benefit you. I've discussed with your uncle and he says you like ice hockey."

Lexa almost reminded her that she herself her told her she was an ice hockey fan but she had of course forgotten that.

"There must be an ice hockey team. Or at least a hockey team?"

"There isn't. But, I've been thinking of trying out for the soccer team."

"Oh." She seemed a little disappointed. "Is that a girls' team or a mixed team?"

"It's a girls' team. Two of my friends are on the team." Those two friends being Octavia and Monroe. Lexa did think it was unfair that there wasn't a mixed team, instead of separated boys and girls teams, seeing as she knew it might be easier for Monroe to be in a mixed team as a non-binary individual.

"Well, I wish you all the best luck with that. Now, onto the dreams. Are you still having them?"

"Yes," Lexa said. "Just not as much as I used to. Sometimes, I just don't dream."

"And what's happening in them?"

"I see Luna being taken in different ways."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, sometimes I see her being kidnapped, or I just see her being swallowed by a black hole, or..." She could not remember every single variation of the dream. It was one of those dreams you have repeatedly, with a slight difference each time. These are the dreams which are so frequent they become a part of your memory. Sometimes, you have to question if this event actually took place so far back in your past that the only way you can recall it is while asleep. Lexa knew the nightmares came from her past. She just had not been there when Luna was taken, only to hear the news a week later. Luna's mother had called Gustus, who brought the news to Lexa as kindly as he could. That had not stopped the tears.

"This is something I've been meaning to talk to you about for a few weeks, Lexa. I've been talking with your uncle. You used to come here every two weeks, and now it's once a month. I know you and your family are short of money,and I can tell you haven't been enjoying it here. Your uncle's main worry about you is that you've been isolated, but that no longer seems to be the case. My one concern is the sleeping. So I'm going to give you some medication, and your next session will be in March."

"That took long enough," Lexa said. She was relieved, now she finally had something. She hoped it would make some difference but you can never know.

The psychiatrist pursed her lips at this. "We have five minutes left. Would you like me to come with you back to the waiting room?"

* * *

"O, look what she's doing. O? O! Look, she's literally taking a picture of her starbucks."

"Aren't I allowed to take pictures of whatever I want?" asked Lexa as she slid her phone back into the pocket of her jeans. The top stuck out of the pocket, so she had to pull down her sweater so as to prevent it being seen by those who could steal it. She believed she would feel if someone were to reach into her back pocket and take it, and she could probably catch them if them ran away, but just in case, she kept it hidden. The three girls were visiting the local mall. It was but a ten minute walk from Polaris. The friends had intended on heading immediately to all the clothes stores to buy Clarke birthday presents, before realising they were hungry and stopping for coffee and sandwiches in Starbucks.

"Because it's such a white girl thing to do," Octavia answered for her.

"Yes, I know that, I have tumblr. I just like taking photos. I can make a scrapbook, to help me remember this year." She had not made one for the year before.

 "It's still funny."

"I don't think it's funny, Raven. I think it is in a way misogynistic. The idea of the basic bitch shames girls for the things they like. Girls are not allowed to do anything. If I wear revealing clothes, I'm a slut. If I wear a turtleneck and a long skirt, I'm a prude. If I wear makeup, I need to be taken swimming on the first date. If I don't, I don't care about myself and don't have a sense of self respect. If I-"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. I do have a tumblr." The notification sound came from Raven's phone. She typed in her demonic passcode and hastened to read the text before grinning and typing back.

"Who's that, Raven?" Octavia asked.

"Gina," said Raven, cheekily. "Got her number at the party last night. She works in the jewelry store across the street from the workshop." That must have been the girl who Raven kissed.

"Gina, who works in a jewelry store? What does she look like?"

"Well, she has kind of light brown hair, sexy grin, really fucking hot, good-"

"Yeah, okay, Raven. Is it Gina Martin?"

"Yeah." Raven seemed puzzled. "Do you know her?"

"She's Bellamy's ex."

The revulsion on Raven's face was apparent. "Ew. That means I've liked shared spit with Bell or something. That's gross. Wait, they've made out before, right?"

"They were very PDA."

"Oh my God, PDA is the worst."

"Raven, you made out with me in front of a crowd of people."

"That was different. I was drunk. PDA is gross. What happened between Bell and Gina, anyway?"

"She broke up with him, because he didn't really love her or something. He liked this girl from his college. Rich girl called Echo. He said her mom is like the CEO of Azgeda fashion or something."

"Damn. Savage. I like girls who are savage."

"You could always try a lioness," teased Lexa.

"You see, O, this is why I love Lexa. Lexa, you're so shady. I mean obviously I'm the salt queen but the way you do it is hilarious. You know, how you're so serious when you talk."

"I wouldn't know. This is just how I talk."

Raven laughed again. "Let's get out of here. Maybe we could go try stuff on at  _Brandy Melville_ and see if we can actually fit into any of it. O, could you carry my crutches?" With a wobble, Raven stood from the table. She was standing on two legs. She was had no support, no one to help her. On her own, she walked slowly, yet she was upright.

She smirked back at Octavia and Lexa who gazed at her in awe. "My physiotherapist wants me to use my crutches less. Check this out." She pointed down at her leg. Lexa, surprisingly, had not seen the small frame that encircled her leg from her ankle all the way up to her knee. "It's a brace. It helps keep me up. She thinks I might have full use of my leg back by the summer."

"Will the pain go away?"

"I don't think so. But hey, it's something."

* * *

"So here's what we do. I'll choose something for Octavia to wear. Octavia, you're choosing for Lexa and Lexa, you choose for me." The three girls were in their fourth store. In  _Brandy Melville,_ Raven had taken her time to point out the unrealistic body proportions of the mannequins. In there, Octavia bought Clarke a t-shirt with David Bowie on and a baseball cap that said "Girls, Girls, Girls". Together, they had been expensive, but Octavia said it was worth it, for her friend. Raven admitted to the two of them that she already ordered a present for Clarke from the internet: a pillow with Nicholas Cage on. It was a prank present. Nevertheless, she bought her a birthday card with a cute cat on the front. Lexa liked the clothes in  _Brandy Melville_ a lot but knew she could not afford any of them for herself. She instead got herself a necklace with a crescent moon on it.

In the stationary store, Lexa found Clarke a set of oil pastels which she had been complaining she did not have. She always had to borrow the school's ones, even though using oil pastels was her favorite media for drawing in. It only cost ten dollars, but she hoped Clarke would like it.

They stopped in the toy store, just so Raven could go on her search to see if they stocked Black Widow toys in the  _Marvel_ section (they had one tiny figurine in a box set with the fifth Captain America they had found, the sixth Iron Man, the fourth Hulk and the fifth Thor).

This lead them to where they were; Lexa searched for the most ridiculous outfit she could put Raven in. From the men's section, she picked up the largest pair of bright green swimming trunks, followed by a skimpy bikini top in the most outrageous shade of pink, a fluorescent yellow cardigan and a fedora.

"Damn, I look great," Raven said, as she paraded up and down the corridor outside the changing rooms. She did not care that the sales assistants were watching and laughing and that the other women queuing up were staring at her. She pulled back the cardigan sleeve and flexed her flawless arm muscle.

"You know,  _Marvel_ should just hire me as their next superhero. Oh, wait, I'm a girl, and I'm Latina. Maybe they'd take me as one of the X-men."

Octavia looked far less happy in her puffy, pink dress covered in sequins. It came up far above her knees so that her bruised and scratched legs could be seen. She scowled at her best friend. Octavia had thankfully chosen a vaguely normal looking clothing set for Lexa: a plaid shirt, a pair of black shorts and a pink tank top. The only thing out of the ordinary was the sunglasses.

When they had changed back into their normal clothes, the friends walked towards the exit, when suddenly, Octavia dragged them behind a table and commanded for them to duck down.

"What's wrong, O?"

"Finn fucking Collins."

"What? Where?"

"I just saw him there. He was with some other guys. They all looked like a bunch of fuckboys."

"Who's Finn Collins?"

"Jeez, Lexa. Say it louder."

"Who is he?"

"Raven's ex," explained Octavia. "And a total dickhead.

"O, come on," pleaded Raven in a whisper.

"Yeah, I know you loved him and all. But come on, he was a total fuckboy."

"What did he do?"

"He seemed a nice enough guy. He was in our school a few years ago, and you know, he was leader of  _Amnesty International_ and he wore a leather jacket so Raven was smitten with him. Course, I'm in Amnesty and I wear leather jackets but Raven's never fallen for me."

"Because you're ugly as fuck, O."

"Yeah, so him and Raven had been friends when they were kids and they started dating but Raven didn't tell us. This was like halfway through sophomore year. And she didn't tell us either that she'd slept with him!"

"Octavia!"

"And then something happened between him and Clarke and apparently they made out at a few parties but Clarke didn't tell us because it was just natural to make out with people at parties and she didn't think anything of it. But then, he started texting her and apparently at another party they almost slept together but she was too uncomfortable or something. And she kind of showed us some of the texts and told us about the thing at the party and Raven got upset and dumped him and he carried on texting Clarke. You know, his girlfriend broke up with him so he needed a new one and Clarke turned him down too because now she knew she was the side hoe. And, yeah, he moved away."

"Is that him with the long hair?"

"Yeah, and the douchey face."

Lexa watched the boy walk out of sight, joking with his friends as they patted each other on the shoulders like boys do. In a movie, two girls caught in a love triangle would have hated each other and acted like it was the other girl's fault and not the fault of the boy who had cheated. It was nice to see how strong the friendship was between Clarke and Raven despite all that had happened.

"We should have gone with that plan of snapchatting him a picture of you and Clarke kissing," said Octavia.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you're still with me at this point, we finally get to meet Bellamy in this chapter! This is also where you'll start to hear about Minty and Harpoe, though it's mostly background, but I promise they'll be more in later chapters.  
> *I accidentally wrote harpoe as harponty and had to change that

"Bell!" In the doorway of Octavia's house stood a tall man with dark hair and dark eyes: Octavia's older brother Bellamy. Bellamy was twenty and so tall, wearing a tight gray t-shirt that made his muscles stand out. Clarke had questioned before if being muscular was a gene that just ran in the Blake bloodline. Octavia always worked out at the gym but Bellamy was a writer and a college student; he could not have time to do exercise as well.

He bore some resemblance to Octavia; they had the same square jaw and tanned skin, though their eyes were strikingly different. Octavia's were hazel, whereas Bellamy's were close to black. This could be attributed to their different fathers; Octavia's dad had been Greek while Bellamy's was Filipino. It was sad that their mother had told her children their fathers' ethnicities but never their names.

Octavia leapt into her brother's arms and he wrapped her tightly in a hug, lifting her off her feet. Once he had set her down on the ground again, he turned to each member of the group who would be staying over for the slumber party to welcome them.

"Raven."

"Hi, asshole." She gave him a light punch on the arm as she walked through the doorway after her best friend. She walked with a limp, her left leg buckling under her weight each time she set it in front of her, and she placed her hands against the wall for stability.

He greeted Monroe and Maya who he only vaguely knew after seeing them on maybe two other occasions. He had never seen Lexa in his life, so that required an introduction.

"Hello, I'm Lexa."

"Bellamy. Octavia told me about you."

Clarke tried to think what Octavia could have told him. Octavia was not an overly mean person unless she absolutely hated someone, so she doubted there was anything bad. Maybe she had mentioned Lexa's fascination with ancient mythology, so Bellamy would have something to talk about with her.

Bellamy was not talkative. He seemed like he was trying to give one of those dark and brooding vibes when he was actually just a huge nerd. That was another thing him and Lexa shared in common. Despite being different genders, despite Lexa probably being less angry and more patient, despite their enormous height difference, they were quite similar. Although, Clarke found Lexa to be the far prettier one.

"So, eighteen, huh?" Bellamy asks Clarke. She was the last in their single file line up Indra's front path. Yes, it was Clarke's birthday. She was eighteen. She was legally an adult. Raven was going to take her to a strip club at the weekend, she claimed. It would be bigger on her twenty first birthday when they were actually allowed to drink, but a strip club sounded like a nice deal. For tonight, however, the girls and Monroe would be sleeping over at Octavia's house in the week that Bellamy was home from college.

"Yeah."

"Good luck. Being an adult's tough."

"Thanks."

"Tell me something. Raven texted me to tell me she's dating Gina Martin. I can't believe anything Raven tells me so I need you to confirm. Or preferably deny."

"They're not dating as far as I know. That's Raven blowing things out of proportion. But they have been texting a lot and I think they're going on their first date sometime soon."

Bellamy sighed. "And what about you? Is there anyone you're dating?"

"No. No one just yet."

"Why not date my sister? She's been miserable for months that she's single and I wish she'd stop texting me about it in the middle of the night. At least I approve of you as a girlfriend for her."

Clarke thought back to Lincoln. She had told Octavia what he said to her at the party about how he wanted to get to know her better. Octavia had been astounded and embarrassed but from the grin she wore for the next two days, you could tell she was delighted with this response.

"I'm not looking for anyone right now. I mean, if someone comes along, then sure, but..." Clarke was not sure how else she could explain herself. The last thing she wanted was to be discussing relationships with her best friend's brother on her birthday.

* * *

"Hey, who wants to hear some drama?"

"Get the popcorn!" shouted Monroe, and everyone had to silence her as her cry could be heard from throughout the house.

"I'M NOT BRINGING YOU MORE FOOD! I'M NOT YOUR SERVANT!" came Bellamy's reply from downstairs.

"Okay," Raven said, rubbing her hands together. "So this is what Harper told me about her and Monty."

"Raven, you realise this is why no one tells you secrets. You're such a blabbermouth," Clarke said. She was nestled on top of her sleeping bag, wearing starry night pants and a t-shirt with the American flag. At her side were her presents; her new clothes from Octavia, her book on Frida Kahlo from Maya, a pair of star earrings from Bellamy, her signed  _Once Upon A Time_ poster from Monroe and her oil pastel set from Lexa. She rested her arms on her Nicolas Cage pillow from Raven. She had screamed when she tore off the wrapping paper. She was so happy to have her set of oil pastels as well.

They had spent the last couple of hours doing various slumber party activities, though these would normally be at the slumber parties of twelve-year-olds. They played  _Wii Sing_ and  _Just Dance_ , which Maya unsurprisingly won both of. They ate pizza together, while playing  _Fuck, Marry, Kill._ Raven, knowing Clarke well, had given her the option of Shay Mitchell, Lana Parrilla and Natalie Dormer, which had been practically impossible. They had gone to the kitchen and dared each other to do obscure things. Octavia had to go outside the house and pretend to be a duck which they all filmed and put on  _snapchat_ because Octavia was daring and did those kind of things. Raven point blank refused to do her dare which was giving Bellamy a lap dance, and Octavia would not let her do it, either. Maya had to call Jasper and tell him that she was pregnant, while having it on speaker. They learnt many disturbing things about the couple's sex life including why Jasper had not worn a condom twice. He did not fall for the lie, because he could hear Raven's uncontrollable laughter in the background, which soon got Maya started. Lexa had drink soy sauce as if it were a shot, but they finished the game after Lexa had to run to the bathroom, complaining that she was about to be sick.

"Clarke, don't ruin it," said Monroe, bitterly. "I want to know why Harper is hanging out more with her ex-boyfriend than her best friend when she is almost as gay as Kristen Stewart." Monroe had said what many of them had thought when Harper dated Monty. Clarke also knew that Monroe, the non-binary lesbian, had a crush on Harper. It was an expanded love triangle almost as complex as the ongoing one on  _Faking It,_ with Amy still being hopelessly in love with Karma and Karma supposedly being oblivious to her feelings for Amy and instead jumping on Liam, while Amy also seemed to be gaining feelings for Karma's new friend Felix. She did not know why she still watched that show.

"Isn't Miller also your best friend?"

"He's been avoiding me and her. They're separating the ambiguously gay trio!"

"It's not very ambiguous anymore," said Octavia.

"Anyway, as I was  _saying._ " Raven clapped her hands together to get everyone's attention. "I overheard Harper tell Monty that he needs to face up to his feelings and pull himself together."

"Okay. So they're having relationship troubles. So what?"

"Shut the fuck up and let me finish the story. She then told him he had to admit his feelings for, wait for it, NATHAN FUCKING MILLER!"

"What? Raven, are you sure that's what you heard?"

"Sure. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Because Monty's one of the straightest people we know. He's almost as no homo as Jasper."

"Clarke, Raven does have a point. It is stereotyping and a lot of people do not fit into the stereotypes of their sexualities," added Lexa. "You for example are bisexual and not promiscuous or confused and you are perfectly fine using labels. I, a known lesbian, have long hair and act as you tell me, 'like a straight girl.' We don't even know what sexuality Monty is yet, and we should in no way force him to come out."

"Right, sorry."

"Don't apologise. You didn't do anything wrong." Clarke thought about the party at Murphy's back at the weekend. She recalled that no one had been able to find Monty. He had been seen with Jasper, but as soon as Miller went looking for him, he was nowhere to be seen, as if he had vanished from the face of the earth. Monroe said Harper and him had gone to get more drinks, but they had taken ages. Now she thought about it, Harper was always dragging Monty off into corners to have private conversations with him.

"Raven, continue."

"Then, get this," Raven said, excitedly. "Harper said she doesn't want to have to pretend to be his girlfriend anymore when she needs to figure out her own sexuality!"

"Oh my God!" shouted Monroe.

"Confirmed. Gays stick together. We are officially the gay squad," said Raven.

"What about me? And Jasper? We're straight," said Maya.

"So is spaghetti until it's wet."

"BOIL THE HETEROSEXUALS," shouted Raven.

"Raven, shut the fuck up or Indra will come and check on us again. It wasn't fun when she did that while we were playing _Wii Sing_."

"Yeah. I couldn't finish my amazing vocals on  _Umbrella._ I've been told I sound exactly like Rihanna," Raven boasted.

"Who told you that? Miller? Because Miller is a fucking liar."

 "Anyway, I love Monty," said Clarke. "He's my son."

"I think the thing with Miller is stupid," said Monroe. "He needs to pull himself together."

"How dare you be rude about my son," said Clarke in a mock-serious tone. "He is a beautiful cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure. He deserves everything." They spent the next ten minutes discussing how Monty was the best person in the world and how much he meant to them.

"Wow, I can finally say I have a small gay son," Clarke said, as they drew near the end of this conversation topic.

"Monty is daddy," said Raven, and Octavia glared at her. "Hey, I didn't mean that in a kinky way. I just mean that he's the dad friend."

 

"So Indra rented us  _Pitch Perfect 2,_ " Octavia told them as she made her way over to the small television screen. Monroe groaned at the suggestion of this film.

"I would have thought you'd be a fan of Beca and Chloe, Monroe."

"It's all queerbaiting, isn't it?"

"What's queerbaiting?" asked Lexa, with curiosity.

"Oh, queerbaiting is like what they do on _Supernatural_ where they try to appeal to queer audiences by-"

"No, I know what it means. I mean what queerbaiting happens in the movie? And what it the movie about?"

Raven stood up to explain. "It's about a hot punk girl, played by the incredible Anna Kendrick, who goes to college and joins an all female singing group. Lots of the first movie focuses on her relationship with some pasty white guy called Jerry or something."

"Jesse," Clarke corrected her.

"But there's a scene where she sings in the shower, naked with this girl called Chloe who becomes her best friend and they sing together a lot and everyone shipped it, so they added in a lot more of them in this movie. And they cut out most of the scenes with Beca and Jeremy-"

"Jesse."

"Yeah, whatever. You'll see. Beca is the hot one, by the way. And Chloe is the ginger one." 

The movie began with Lexa curled up to Clarke's chest on the couch. Raven had her leg stretched out across them, and kept shifting, making their seating positions really uncomfortable.

"I have no idea what's happening," said Lexa, as the girls performed  _Wrecking Ball_ for the Obama family. "What is happening?" she then shouted a few seconds later, as a huge mistake happened during this performance. "Why is she not wearing underwear?" she asked, nudging Clarke. "Clarke, why is she not wearing underwear? Clarke?"

"Plot convenience," Raven whispered.

The next question she asked came about twenty minutes into the movie. "Which one is Beca?"

"Brown hair."

"The new girl?"

"No, no. The really short one. Look, her." They watched while Beca was mocked by a tall German singer and in response, Beca made a comment about how beautiful the woman was. ' _You are physically flawless. But it doesn't mean I like you._ '

"Beca is so gay," said Raven. "If they don't confirm it in  _Pitch Perfect 3,_ I'm sueing the writers."

As soon as Lexa's questions were over, she really seemed to enjoy watching it. She whispered to Clarke at one point that she thought they did seem like a cute couple. She nodded her head in time to the various musical numbers.

"Maybe in the third movie, they'll actually win a riff off," said Clarke, and then explained to Lexa. "In the first one, they lose as well."

The final credits rolled up and Octavia went to switch on the lights.

"So, what did you think?"

"It was good," Lexa replied. "I haven't seen the first one, but it was funny. It was enjoyable. It was just...there were a lot of offensive jokes. The one about the immigrants..."

"Oh, those are used to show what a douchebag the presenter guy is. In the first one, he says something about how women are as bad at doing a cappella as they are at being doctors. It's on purpose."

"Alright, but what about the predatory lesbian jokes? The lesbian character is a background character and most of the speaking time she gets is her trying to flirt with and look at her teammates while they're changing, when she knows they're straight. She's already the only black girl in the group."

"That is a point." The friends looked to each other as they thought about this.

"You know what?" says Octavia. "I have an idea. We should make a movie. A comedy, like about life as a minority teenager. Using people's actual experiences on our diverse writing team. Maybe even a tv series."

"I don't know. We're not the most racially diverse friendship group. The only person who isn't white here is Raven."

"There's Miller and Monty and Wells. We could use the music from the band as the soundtrack. And Maya can act and get all her theater nerd friends, and we could have Monty doing all the tech and Clarke you could do design and we could have Lexa on hair and Harper on costume and makeup."

"Hello, am I invisible?" asked Raven. "Disabled, Latina, bisexual, and badass."

"We should do this," Clarke agreed. "Get Bellamy to write the script. And Lexa needs to do more than just hair."

After some more theorising on their idea, Octavia brought out a  _Cards Against Humanity_ box. Apparently, Raven specially requested they play it.

"Raven is a master of this," Clarke informed Lexa. "Have you ever played?"

"No, but I know how it works. You either have to come up with a white card that is offensive or nonsensical."

"Lexa, you'll lose so badly," teased Raven.

"No, I believe in her," Clarke argued. "I think she'll win. I say we go first to five cards. And we do the version where everyone votes on the best card, because we have school tomorrow and will be really tired otherwise."

The white cards were dealt out to each of the girls and Monroe, then Octavia placed down the first black card: " _And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for_!"_

There were a few funny options for this round. Monroe insisted she'd been using up her bad cards as she turned over her card which read " _Goblins"_. Someone used what was arguably the most hilarious card, " _Harry Potter Erotica_ ", but in the end, Raven achieved the win with " _Muhammed (Peace Be Upon Him)_ "

However, as the game progressed, there was a change in events. Clarke had scored two as they neared the end of the game, with her card " _Poorly Timed Holocaust Jokes_ " and " _The Homosexual Agenda_ ", though everyone guessed it was her who used that. Monroe was also on two, Octavia on one and Maya had no black cards because she was too nice of a person to be physically able to make offensive jokes. They had witnessed a dramatic turn of events, though.

Between Lexa and Raven, it was a tie; both had four cards. This was Lexa, Lexa who everyone thought was humorless, who was unable to laugh, yet there she was, her mouth open as she giggled with low volume at each and every card that was read. She had a sweet laugh, Clarke noted. Like her smile, it lit up the room. Now she was writing what sounded like  _One Direction_ lyrics in her head. The next thing she knew, she would be telling her how beautiful her insecurity is because no one likes a woman with confidence.

Lexa's use of the white card " _Coat Hanger Abortions_ " when the black card had been " __.That's so metal,_ " was voted for by every member of the group, save for Lexa herself.

The black card for the next round was put in the middle. Clarke had no good cards left, and knew she would not win this round. It would likely be either Raven or Lexa who won, and she did want Lexa to win, if only to prove Raven wrong. Still, it would be nice if the others could catch up with them.

" _Life for American Indians was forever changed when the White man introduced them to_._ "

It was a few minutes before everyone chose the cards they wished to use and placed them in a messy pile in the middle. Octavia shuffled them around and then began to read out.

"Life for American Indians was forever changed when the White man introduced them to...genuine human connection, being a motherfucking sorcerer, police brutality, dying, my black ass."

Lexa went immediately for " _Police brutality_ " but most of the others were too busy laughing over " _Dying_ ". Raven realized what was about to happen, and opted for " _Police Brutality_ " along with Lexa, but it was too late, because the other four easily outweighed their two votes.

"Who was dying?"

"Me," said Lexa. "And I have five cards, so I've won."

"I was being a motherfucking sorcerer," Clarke laughed. "I told you mine was terrible."

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter so soon after the last! This chapter is quite short but by far one of my favourites to write. Content warnings for homophobic and lesbophobic slurs. Also, lots of cute clexa fluff and both of them being completely unaware of their feelings for each other as usual.

"Right, Lex, you got this."

Lexa shrugged away Raven's tanned hand from her shoulder, with its jewelled nails painted a shocking bright red. A couple of days ago, Clarke had done all of their nails and given Lexa black like she had requested. By now, all the paint was peeling from Lexa consistently peeling it when she was distracted, and from the fact she had spent hours in the garden the night before playing soccer with Aden which eventually turned into football without any of the protective gear. She had fallen into the mug numerous times, but she was ready.

Today were the tryouts for the girls' soccer team (and at the same time the tryouts for cheerleading). The cheerleading team was one of the few artsy groups Maya was not in. Maya was in the drama club, the art club, pottery club (which was mainly made up of freshman), the choir, the orchestra and the soul band. In addition, she played piano, flute, recorder, and auditioned for every school musical. She desperately wanted to be on the cheerleading team, so Harper had been helping her reach that level. She would be auditioning at that second, and Jasper had gone along to watch his girlfriend, taking with him Miller and Wells. Normally, Monty would always be at the side of his friend, but due to Miller's presence there, he was instead sitting beside Monroe as she did a warm up at the side of the field. She wanted to hold her position on the soccer team, too.

Lexa doubted there was anything for Monroe to fear. Monroe was a fantastic soccer player and had applied for sports college after this. She was more nervous about herself because she had never done more soccer than the few sports classes in elementary school.

She tied her hair up into a messy bun, so that it was all out of her eyes. She prayed her contact lenses would not fall out as she ran, because that would be a disaster, if she could not see the ball. She did not reveal this to many people, but she had atrocious eyesight. When she was younger, she used to wear enormous glasses. She was never teased for them, thankfully. It was more her lack of social skills that triggered the bullying.

"You're going to be amazing, Lexa. Go on out there and show 'em who's boss!" Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck and planted an amicable kiss on her cheek.

"Careful, Clarke. You'll distract me."

"Quit flirting, you two," said Raven. "Mrs Sands is coming."

Mrs Sands was the head of the female sport department at the school. She was tall and stoic with hair the color of straw or the sand from which her name came. Lexa knew her son; Zoran, a boy from Aden's class at school. Anya trailed behind Mrs Sands with her hair back in a ponytail and in full tracksuit, with a stopwatch around her neck, looking exactly like a sports teacher. It was remarkable how different she was to how she looked at home. On days where Anya was not working or at weekends, she would trudge down the stairs late into the morning, or even in the early afternoon. She kept on her the t-shirt and boxers she had slept in, and usually had a thick coating of makeup encircling her eyes. She smiled at her sister as she passed by her, and gave her a thumbs up. Raven seemed to think Anya being a member of the sports department would work in Lexa's favor, but Anya did her best to show no bias towards Lexa which meant she sometimes got in more trouble than the other girls in gym.

"Damn, Miss Woods looks good today," said Raven, once they were gone. "I would love for her to step on me. Just step on me and sit on my face."

"Raven, that's my sister. Can you not, please?"

"And you have a girlfriend," Octavia further stated. Yes, Raven and Gina were now officially dating, they had announced just a week before. Bellamy was not happy at all, Octavia had told them, which caused Raven to only grin more. Octavia questioned if Raven was only dating Gina to spite Bellamy, which Raven assured them was not the case. She liked Gina. She liked her a lot. And she would never go that far to piss Bellamy off. Bellamy was her friend, even if she found him to be "a pain in the ass."

Lexa went out onto the field and stood beside Monroe, as Mrs Sands surveyed the girls.

"It's good to see such a good turn out. Welcome to tryouts for the girls' soccer team. We do three hours of training a week, from four until five thirty on Tuesdays and Fridays, and will occasionally train on Saturdays, depending on when we have matches. We have one match in November, and most of the others in the Spring. As you know, if you were on the team, it is likely you will get on again, but do not get too hopeful. We had three players leave last year, so we need a full team of eleven, as well as reserves. To begin, I'll divide the group in half, and we'll have a game against each other."

The gathering of people was split. Monroe was on the opposite team. That meant nothing, except that she had to try her hardest on her own. Someone blonde was waving to her from the crowd. The sun was shining in their direction, glinting off Lexa's contact lenses, so she could not tell exactly who it was, but she assumed it was Clarke, and smiled before waving back. Her suspicions were confirmed as she heard Clarke's voice shout her name and whoop.

Mrs Sands blew the whistle.

 

* * *

 

Her chest smacked into the grass. It had been raining early this morning and the ground was still soggy, so her sports gear was dirtied with grass stains and mud. Lexa's leg stung as she picked herself up, and dashed after the ball. It hurt, she was wildly in pain. They were on the second game. Her team had won the other by one goal. She had been running with the ball, inches from the other team's goal when she felt someone's hands on her, right before she fell.

Octavia was shouting. "Miss, it's not fair! She pushed her! Ontari pushed her! We all saw!" Even girls from the other team had paused the game to come over and check if Lexa was alright.

"I'm fine. I'm fine."

"Crap, Lexa, you're bleeding." Clarke was at her side. She glanced down. There was thick blood streaming down her knee and smudging and drying in clumps everywhere. "Miss Sands, can I take Lexa off. I have some band aids and wipes in my bag."

"Why?" Lexa asked her.

"My mom's a doctor. She tells me to always carry a pack."

Mrs Sands pursed her lips. "Five minutes. That's all." Then, she went over to Ontari, a menacing girl who appeared simply furious. She was a junior who had been glaring at Lexa for no reason she could comprehend, for the last few days. Raven said Ontari was just like that. This was the girl who had pushed her and everyone saw.

Clarke knelt with Lexa as she cleaned the wound with an antiseptic wipe. Lexa grimaced as the wet sheet met her raw skin.

"Hey, hey, you're alright, Lexa. I was watching. You were great out there."

"No, I wasn't."

"Yes you were. You're amazing okay, Lexa? You're amazing at so many things. You are beautiful, smart, adorable, and amazing at soccer."

"Thank you, Clarke. But I'm not that good."

"No, listen, Lexa, you are."

"Are you two for real?" Raven asked. "You're arguing over how amazing Lexa is?"

Clarke peeled the paper off the back of the band aid and gently laid it across the cut on Lexa's knee. "That should do it."

Lexa got up and went back to the pitch. She was fine. She could do this. She could do this.

They played one more game after that, which the other team won, and then they each had a go in goal where they would stand while someone kicked five soccer balls at them, and tried to see how many they could block. Lexa managed all five. Mrs Sands was regarding her kindly, as she made notes on her clipboard, and Lexa was hopeful. This was the end, so she went to sit with Clarke, Raven, Octavia and Monty while the last few people had their turns in the goal. Ontari was no longer playing. She had been disqualified by Mrs Sands and now stood leaning against a tree with folded arms. She made her way towards them.

"Thanks for getting me thrown out of the game, Woods."

"You pushed me over," Lexa answered, sharply.

"Yeah. Well, how do you know it wasn't an accident?"

"We saw you push her!" yelled Clarke.

Ontari leered at her. "No one asked you, dyke."

"Oh, no you did not just say that!" shouted Raven, as both Octavia and Lexa got up.

"Look, Griffin. Your girlfriend's standing up for you."

"Fuck off, Ontari."

"Let me handle this Clarke," Lexa said. She swung her fist and it smashed straight into Ontari's nose. She did not hit her that hard. At least, she didn't think she hit her that hard, but Ontari was having a nose bleed and now looked at Lexa as if she could murder her.

"You bitch!"

"Clarke is my friend. Attack her and you attack me!"

"What is going on over here?" Mrs Sands was sprinting towards them. "Lexa, what are you doing?"

Everyone started to shout over each other.

"Ontari called Lexa a dyke!" Monty said.

"Lexa punched me in the nose," Ontari said at the same time, as she tilted back her head to stop the blood getting in her mouth.

Clarke reached into her bag and pulled out a packet of tissues which she tossed to Ontari. Ontari could not be bothered to thank her.

"Go and get changed, both of you. And Ontari, I'll have to tell Principal Jaha about this."

Ontari now looked like she was about to explode. Lexa did have to admit it was unfair that she was not in any trouble whatsoever and looked like she could still make the team. Since she had arrived, she had received nothing but praise from teachers of every subject she took. It was down to her hard work, her note taking, asking questions about everything she did not understand.

"Everyone sympathising with the poor girl who can't even afford a new sports kit. It must be nice having all your faggot friends defending you. It must be nice to have all the teachers on your side." Ontari left, still grumbling under her breath.

"Lexa, that was fucking awesome!" Raven said as she patted her on the back. Monroe was now with them, having finished her trial, and sat applauding with Monty. "The way you just punched her like that. And you didn't get a warning. I'm surprised you're not a Gryffindor. That was the most Gryffindor thing I've ever seen. And Ontari wouldn't even have the pleasure of going to Hogwarts."

"I don't understand how someone could be so cruel. I don't even know her."

"Maybe it's because you're so freaking great at soccer and because you're smarter than her and hella hot while she is ugly as shit."

"I don't think we should have to put other girls down and contribute to the idea that people bully people because they're jealous of them. People bully people because they're bullies."

"Favorite feminist Lexa Woods strikes again." Raven gave her a fist bump.

"Ontari's just not a nice person, Lexa," said Clarke. "She's hateful. Look, she's homophobic, she's obviously classist."

"Yeah all that about your faggot friends or whatever."

"And you'll get on the team. Mrs Sands can't turn down that much talent just because you punched a piece of shit who had it coming."

Clarke embraced Lexa, there and then. "How's your knee?"

"Hurts."

"Want to go to nurse's room?"

"No, I want to go home."

"I thought you might. I'll come with. We can use my  _Netflix_ account and watch the next episode of  _Orphan Black._ " Clarke had first shown the suspenseful Canadian series to Lexa two weeks before, on a Sunday when she had nothing to do and popped round to Clarke's. Lexa had been enchanted with the admirable acting abilities of Tatiana Maslany who could play more than ten characters and make them all seem like real people, all with different accents (though she admitted the common London accent she did for the main character, Sarah, was dodgy). Lexa liked the dynamic between the nerdy American scientist clone, Cosima, and her tall, French girlfriend, Delphine, though Clarke had ranted about the show's refusal to just say that Delphine was bisexual. They were now on season two.

"And no, you are not saying you have work to do. Got it?"

Lexa smiled and held Clarke by the shoulders. "I'm going to get changed. I'll meet you in the car park in twenty minutes."

That night at Lexa's, the two of them sat at her bed with Clarke's iPad balanced on their knees. They finished the season of  _Orphan Black,_ Lexa being a little distressed ("I hope Rachel doesn't die, Clarke. She was a good villain. Helena survived being shot so why can't Rachel survive?"). Clarke was warm and soft, with their hands entwined, making her feel better despite the scathing words from Ontari about her wealth and sexual orientation, and her injury. She could not have hoped for a better friend.

 

* * *

 

Two days later, the team lists for both soccer and cheerleading went up. Monroe was first on the soccer list. Lexa's eyes scanned down, disappointed, until she saw her name as the very last and her friends congratulated her. Harper and Maya had both made it onto the cheerleading team and Ontari had not made it onto either. Everything was perfect. For once, she was entirely content with life, and carefree. She had friends, good friends, who loved her and treated her with respect, who never made fun of her for her opinions. Uncle Gustus had a job and could afford to keep the house for them. Anya had work that paid well, Aden was doing well at school, Lexa was getting top marks on every test she took. She would get top marks on her SATs, too, and her finals. She would earn that hard won scholarship at Harvard. She would study hard, become a top lawyer. She would also get a loving girlfriend, who she would marry someday. And yes, it sounded sappy, but it was what she wanted. She would be free from bullies like her father, her mother, the children who were mean to her in elementary school, and Ontari. Things were looking up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, so that was a bit dramatic. I wanted to put a note by that final paragraph that I promise things really are looking up for Lexa and it's not just me making everything happy so I can tear it apart and make everything angsty. For the most part, this is meant to be a happy, light hearted story instead of the mess that way clexa in season 3 of the 100. Obviously, there will be some drama but it will mainly just be Clarke and Lexa angsting over their feelings when they realise they like each other.  
> Next chapter: Halloween (probably will be a while before this one because I'm disorganised as hell)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. So it's Halloween this time and we finally have some mild clexa. Trigger warnings for a panic attack at the end.

All passengers were flung forward as Wells' car flew over a bump in the road. Clarke glanced anxiously over at Raven who had her arms crossed on her chest. The color had drained from her cheeks, but she slowly allowed her limbs to relax as their journey became smooth again. Raven was recovering well from the accident, working on regaining use of her leg. At parties, she had learnt to be more careful with drinking, and always made sure she had an allocated friend to not get drunk. Usually, that friend was Wells.

But the accident had not happened at the party. Though parties could be scary, Raven had been in a car when she was injured. Lifts home from school in broad daylight were easy enough to cope with. However, on a busy road at sunset, with children cutting in front of the vehicle at every turn, Raven's fears began to set in.

It was October thirty first. Halloween. The town government were funding a celebration in the park for teenagers. Everyone knew what it was really about. It was not their friendship group; or even their school that was the culprit, but a Halloween house party the year before had transformed into a disaster after one incredibly wasted sixteen-year-old thought it would be a hilarious prank to run up and down the street, setting pumpkins alight, and throwing them at each house. That night, there was a fire. Two houses were affected. Everyone escaped, but thousands of dollars worth of damage were done and one individual suffered second degree burns to the leg. In other parts of town, there had been wild house parties, not as disastrous, but still to the point that the town adults decided it was time to bring about a change.

Clarke did not appreciate the long lectures from her mother about how she was to go to the park and not go to anyone's house afterwards. It was not like she would be able to, for all of her friends' parents were saying the exact same thing. It had been one group of teenagers which meant all the teenagers were being blamed and labelled by her mom's generation as careless and stupid.

She would not let this ruin the holiday. Halloween was one of her favorite celebrations, after maybe Christmas and her birthday, but it was Raven's absolute favorite celebration. Raven was dressed as a skeleton as a throwback to tumblr's skeleton war. Clarke was dressed as Rapunzel from  _Tangled._ It was the only costume she had been able to find in her size at such short notice, for she had been too tied up with artwork to remember it was close to Halloween. The long blonde wig itched her scalp and fell across her lap.

Her phone buzzed beneath her hand. She had put it there rather than in her pocket, so that she would be able to tell if she had any new notifications or phone calls. If it had started ringing, she wouldn't have been able to hear, because Raven was insisting they listen to some Beyoncé to get her into "party mode." She was waving her hand in the air, nudging Octavia to join her. Wells was nodding his head in time as Beyoncé called for all the single ladies. However, the notification was just telling her that Miller was talking on the group chat

"You're not a single lady," Clarke reminded her.

"Shush. Gina's not going to prevent me from being one of the single ladies okay. She likes it." She pointed to herself. "But she hasn't put a ring on it. Is it bad I'm glad we don't have Lexa here, otherwise we'd be listening to her white girl love songs?"

Lexa's absence was the reason for which Clarke was so eager to check her phone. They had all agreed to meet at Clarke's at 4.30pm, but it had been past 5pm when they left. Lexa was going to get a lift from them in Wells' car, but there had been severe delays with buses, so she decided she would not hold them back any longer and would meet them at the park. Yet Clarke carried on worrying because the park was a big place and all of them were in costume. What if she couldn't find Lexa? It did not help that Lexa refused to tell her what her costume would be because she "didn't want to spoil the surprise."

Raven jolted once more as they passed yet another bump in the road. Clarke saw the subtle movement of Octavia's hand as it slid on top of Raven's to soothe her. Octavia was dressed as a zombie. With the help of the other two, she had stuck latex onto her face and powdered over it. Her eyes were still hazel, though she had wanted red contact lenses. Unfortunately, they had been far too expensive for a teenager with no income to buy to only use once.

They were at the park now. Wells told them he would have to drive around, searching for a parking space. People were making their way to the entrances in orderly lines. Through the window, Clarke saw a black-haired vampire girl holding hands with an incredibly skinny version of the Joker. She wound down her window and waved.

"Maya! Jasper!" It was Maya who noticed them and pulled Jasper to a halt. She dragged him up to the curb and bent down to talk to Clarke.

"Have you seen Lexa? Or any of the others?"

"Sorry, we just got here," Maya said in response. "But Monty's already here. Miller texted to say he and Monroe are late. I don't know about Harper."

"Do you want me to let you guys out while I go park?"

Octavia did not answer. She undid her seatbelt and opened the door, Raven following right behind her. They veered around the trunk of the car to stand beside Maya and Jasper.

"Clarke, you coming?"

"This is kind of rude, don't you think, leaving Wells alone? I'll stay with him."

"Suit yourself."

Wells drove off again. He had come with no costume. Raven had forced him to put on a baseball cap so he at least had something that he did not wear typically, but Clarke knew he was mature, he thought he was too old for Halloween. It made her sad, how little him and her had in common. They had been friends before kindergarten. Their parents had been close before they were born with Clarke's mom and Wells' dad attending the same college. It was a coincidence that their children had been born less than a month apart, but not a coincidence that the Griffin family and the Jaha family bought houses next door to each other; Abby and Jake Griffin had already lived on their street when their neighbours put their house up for sale. Thelonius and his pregnant wife had been looking for a new house for a while now, so Abby had called them and asked if they wanted to be close to dear friends. Skip forward a few years to when Wells' mom left his dad for someone else. Wells still got to see her at weekends. Skip forward another few years as Jake Griffin moved boxes of his things into the back of a car. Him and Abby had fallen apart, but they would not fit back together this time, so he had to leave. He was moving across the country and from then on, Clarke would only get to see him face to face during the summer vacation.

"It's been ages since I've talked to you properly, without the rest of the friendship group there," Clarke said to Wells, as they finally found a space and he pulled the gear backwards so that they reversed. "Have you seen the new  _Star Wars_ trailer?"

"Of course I have. Who do you take me for?"

"Who do you think the guy in the mask is then?"

"Luke."

"No way."

"Think about it. We saw Han and Leia in the trailer, but no Luke. They promised he'd be in the movie, so it must be him."

"It's too obvious. I think Luke will be in it. I just think he'll have a really small role."

"Luke is the main character, he can't be a small role."

"He wasn't in the first two, and he was only a baby in the third one."

"We don't talk about the prequels."

"On the subject of the prequels," Clarke began. "Have you heard the theory that Jar Jar Binks is a sith lord?"

"Never mention that name in my car every again."

"Maybe Jar Jar Binks is the person in the mask."

"Clarke Griffin, do you have a death wish?" Wells chuckled. He pulled the car into reverse mode as he squeezed into the smallest of spaces at the side of the pavement. Raven's CD was still blaring; as the only person in the front, Wells had to keep his hands on the wheel at all times, so he would claim later, though Clarke knew that he had been put under the spell of Beyoncé.

As she stepped out onto the street, into the throng of the crowd which was slowly thinning out as more people entered the park, she looped her the fake braid around her arm to stop it trailing along the ground. Someone could easily step on it, yanking the wig off her head, or causing her to topple over onto her face.

"Well if it isn't Clarke Griffin and Wells Jaha. Glad to know you've gotten over my sister." Clarke turned to see a boy in a long black cloak, carrying a scythe made of foam. Beneath his hood, a pale face with a protruding nose and floppy dark hair was visible.

"Hey, Murphy. No, Wells and me isn't a thing."

"Guess I shouldn't be getting my hopes up then, should I?" Murphy was accompanied by two others; an Asian girl with straight black hair in what Clarke took to be a pirate costume, and a familiar face.

"Clarke, this is Emori, and Lincoln."

"I know. I've already met Lincoln." Lincoln was buried inside a long blue coat that disguised his bulky muscles. It was adorned with golden buttons, and he had finished it off with a cap pulled down over his shaven head. He was a union civil war soldier. She chuckled. "I get it. Because your name's Lincoln."

"Well, Clarke, you're the first one to get that joke tonight."

"Emori, this is Clarke and Wells. They're two losers from my school, but I'm supposedly friends with her because we worked on a group project for history and because we made out like once when we were drunk, and because she fucked Niylah-"

"I didn't."

"Whatever. And Wells comes along with her. Two for the price of one deal."

"So, Lincoln, do you and Emori go to art school together?"

"No. She works at Polaris with me." Oh. Clarke understood why she thought Emori had looked familiar. "So are the rest of your friends here today?" This was code for "Is Octavia here?"

"Yeah. Octavia and Raven went in a few minutes ago."

Lincoln was relieved, when Murphy spoke up again.

"If you two are done chatting, I'd like to get into the park now, before they run out of hot dogs."

They had to queue to enter the park. Murphy grumbled that this was pointless; they did not have to spend money on tickets to the event. Why couldn't they just let them all in at once? Wells had to explain to him about bag searching and how they were confiscating drinks in case anyone had filled water bottles with tequila, and removing sharp objects and explosives. Murphy hastily shared what was left in a suspicious smelling lemonade bottle with Emori and tossed the empty container to the ground. Clarke had a set of brass knuckles attached to her keys which she prayed would not get taken from her. Her mom had insisted she buy them in the first place.

Finally, her phone buzzed. It was a snapchat from Lexa. Tapping on her screen, a photo of Octavia and Raven winking at her appeared.  _Ur gonna love Lexa's costume_ , the block of text below their faces read.

Clarke took a selfie of what she hoped was her looking unimpressed.  _Why do you have Lexa's phone?_

_Meet us by the apple bobbing stand ;)_

Clarke took one more picture. This was of her posing beside Lincoln, who had to squat just to get into the frame he was that tall. It was frustrating being of average height, yet having every person you know being taller than you. Raven and Octavia were the exact same height as her, but other than that, all of her friends were more than five foot six and most of the boys she was friends with were over six feet tall.

_O I'm stealing ur man_

Thankfully, Clarke was allowed to keep her key set complete. Everything about Murphy's appearance was mysterious that he was subject not only to a bag search but also a pat down. Lincoln was made to remove his hat, but soon enough they were all through the gates and on their way to meet the others.

The apple bobbing stall was exceptionally empty. Teenagers were not into games designed for young children when there was a giant swing present in the very same park, as well as a barbeque and two outdoor movie theaters; the first was to watch cheesy, low budget horror movies from the eighties and before, the second was for if you were in for a fright, where they were showing mainly movies from the twenty first century.

Clarke could recall a time when she had an abhorrence to apple bobbing, the result of when she had watched a certain episode of  _Supernatural._ That episode stood out in her memory, firstly because it had been the show's only Halloween special and secondly because it had guest-starred yet another of her celebrity crushes, Ashley Benson. To be fair, Clarke had a crush on every single member of the  _Pretty Little Liars_ cast, other than the men which did occasionally make her doubt her own bisexuality. Then again, she doubted her bisexuality if she saw a man she found attractive, so she knew it was just a result of society telling you that you have to pick a side.

In this particular  _Supernatural_ episode, a teenage girl had been apple bobbing at a Halloween party. However, a spell cast by a witch had caused her to drown in that bucket of water. A few episodes later, another girl, whom Clarke had thought looked quite a bit like Octavia, had been drowned in a toilet. That had been the season of people drowning in everyday circumstances.

As Emori thrust her head into one of the buckets to try out her talent of grabbing apples by the teeth, Clarke's focus turned to the three girls leaning against the walls. It was Octavia, Raven and Lexa. Lexa's costume was outstanding. Across her chest, she wore a piece of plastic armor, which extended all the way down over her shoulders. Beneath that was a long, white dress that just brushed the grass on which she stood, floating down around Lexa's feet which were clad in silver sandals. She had on a helmet, made of the same plastic and painted the same color as the breastplate, with red feathers sticking out of the back, and attached to a belt at her waist was a wooden sword. She had evidently just been apple bobbing for her neatly braided hair was damp and sticking to her neck.

"Check it out, Clarke!" shouted Raven. "She's your knight in shining armor."

Lexa huffed, angrily. "For the last time, Raven, I'm not a knight. I'm Athena, the Ancient Greek goddess of wisdom and war."

"Your Greek goddess of wisdom and war in shining armor, then. Except, you're Rapunzel, so technically, what you need is a strangely attractive, animated fuckboy."

"Octavia!" Lincoln ran towards them. "I wasn't sure if I'd see you here."

"I told you I'd be here, didn't I?" She smiled, fiddling with her hair, and he returned that smile. Raven made a gagging motion.

"Wait, you two have been talking?"

"Oh...yeah. He asked for my number when I went to Polaris a few weeks ago. We've been texting a lot."

"And you didn't think to tell us about any of this?" asked Raven in mock anger. "I cannot believe that you would not tell me, Raven Reyes, your best friend and the greatest thing that has ever happened to you that you-"

"Raven, come on, let's go," Clarke instructed her, jumping in before Raven could reveal the crush Octavia had on Lincoln. Lincoln clearly had a crush on Octavia as well, but Clarke could not be certain whether either of them knew yet, and whether they were dating yet. "Let's leave Octavia and Lincoln to catch up." She dragged Raven and Lexa away by their wrists, until they were out of earshot from the pair.

"Raven, when are you going to stop embarrassing people like this?"

"Embarrassing people is what I do best. It's my only skill."

"We both know that's not true. Who is it who's always boasting about being an AP student?"

"Fuck off, Clarke. Can't I be nosy about my best friend's love life? I told her about Gina. Speak of the devil, here she is."

Gina came trotting up the path towards them. Clarke had only met her twice face to face, not including when she saw Gina and Raven dancing together at Murphy's party. Gina's costume was as a 1920s flapper girl, complete with a platinum blonde bob wig, a feather headdress and a pair of heels.

"Hey, babe." Raven saying "babe" sounded unnatural, yet Clarke could see Raven was entirely smitten by her. She gave her a quick peck on the lips before turning back to Clarke and Lexa. "Babe, you know Clarke. And this is Lexa."

"Hi. Gina." She stuck out her hand, which Lexa took. Lexa's other hand was still in Clarke's from where she had dragged her away from Octavia and Lincoln, who were still conversing by the apple bobbing stand. "Are you two dating, then?"

"What? No, no." This came from Lexa, who quickly withdrew her hand. "Clarke is one of my closest friends."

"Oh, well, your costumes are great. So you're Rapunzel? And I'm guessing you're a Greek goddess?" She added to her guess as Lexa nodded. "Athena?"

"Yes! See, someone got it!" She looked gleefully at Raven, who shrugged.

"Anyway, I forgot to mention, we smuggled in some drinks."

"What? How?"

"It was Lexa," Raven replied. "She hid a mini vodka bottle in her helmet, and another two in her bra."

"And they didn't make you take off your helmet or search you or anything? They did that with Lincoln."

"Racism," Raven muttered with a glare. "Well, Lexa barely has any cleavage, so it was easy enough. You wouldn't have been able to do it, Clarke."

Clarke stared down at her own breasts and laughed. It was a recurring joke amongst her and her friends that her chest was "mind blowing." Unfortunately, her cup size was rather impractical when it came to shopping at  _Victoria's Secret_ for bras, but she could usually find at least one that would fit her.

Raven was storing the bottles in her bag. Three of them, tiny glass bottles which she handed to Clarke. Clarke took a long swig and swallowed the strong liquid, before passing it over to Lexa who copied her. Between the two of them, they managed to finish the whole bottle. Raven handed them the other two.

"I'm not in a drinking mood tonight, so I'll leave these for you kids to finish off. Pace yourselves and buy some water, too. Let's go, babe."

"Where are you going?"

"They're showing  _the Blair Witch Project_ in ten minutes. That's my absolute favorite horror movie, alright?"

As Raven and Gina left, Clarke noticed that her and Lexa were the only ones from the friendship group who remained. Octavia must have gone off with Lincoln, Murphy and Emori. Wells had disappeared to who knew where. He would not willingly hang out with Murphy, so unless Octavia had dragged him along, he had probably found Monty or Maya or someone and gone off with them.

The next hour or so was fun for the two girls. Despite only having each other, they managed to have fun. They bought thick, floury burritos, stuffed with rice and beans and cheese and peppers and as much chilli sauce as they could handle (for Lexa this was no chilli sauce). They finished off the other two bottles, though Clarke put in mosts of the effort. They both knew Lexa and alcohol did not go well together, but she still had a little. Following Raven's advice, they also purchased themselves bottles of water. They took selfies which Clarke uploaded to snapchat and instagram. Her favorite was of her in Lexa's arms, like a princess being rescued by her goddess of wisdom and war in shining armor. They asked a random passerby to take it. Clarke sent one photo to Octavia.

 **You:** [IMG_1189](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/I43leb3YU9o/maxresdefault.jpg)

Lokr it me and lexi!

 **Octagon:** How drunk r u?

 **You:** I'm nit drynkk

They danced to  _Thriller._ Clarke was not quite sure where they were, but Lexa was more sober than her and able to lead the way, helping her dodge adult volunteers who might be able to notice her drunkenness and escort her out of the park. She did not think this at the time, but this situation paralleled with Murphy's party the month before, when Clarke had to take care of Lexa when Lexa had been drunk and Clarke had been sober. Lexa must have gotten used to drinking by now, and having the equivalent of two or three vodka shots would do nothing to her other than make her a little dizzy.

They rode the giant swing, screaming as it went up and down. Everything was blurring around Clarke. The sounds around her were both too loud and so quiet that she could make out a single word of what people were saying. She looked ahead of her. She was nestled up against Lexa in some song grass, beneath the cool shade of an oak tree. Ahead of them was a screen with a movie being projected onto it. A woman screamed as she ran down a set of stairs, closely followed by a dark figure in a mask, wielding a knife.

Lexa was before her, the only constant in the fog that was shielding her brain. It would wear off eventually. Lexa looked at her, keeping her steady, looking at her with those penetrating green eyes. Clarke had been enchanted by her eyes from the beginning, from the moment two months ago when she had met this girl who had quickly become one of her best friends. She had put so much delicate care into painting them exactly as they were on her latest piece for her portfolio. Lexa had offered to be her model for it. She was painting a fairy queen, lurking deep within the forest, with beautiful, sea green butterfly wings, and the woodland animals surrounding her.

Clarke was aware that her hair was down and that her wig was gone. She asked Lexa about this with slurred words and Lexa reassured her that she had put it away in her bag after it had fallen off and Clarke had been unable to get it back on her head.

All her friends were getting into relationships. She had thought she did not care. That was what she had told Bellamy. But maybe Bellamy had a point. Raven now had Gina and Jasper had Maya. In future, Monty would come to terms with his feelings for Miller. Lincoln and Octavia were probably already dating and Raven had told everyone she was acquainted with that she had seen Monroe and Harper kissing in the girls' bathroom. Clarke had no one. To kiss her friend, it would mean nothing. She had kissed Raven and Octavia, and even Murphy before and it had meant nothing. She just enjoyed kissing, and right now, she craved intimacy.

"Lexa," she whispered. "I know I'm drunk but..." How to put this? "I really want someone to kiss right now."

Lexa's eyes widened as she understood what Clarke was asking from her. Clarke watched her lips, full, soft, smooth, kissable. That was what she needed now. She spotted a single freckle on the top lip, so faint you could only see it if you were close to her. It was a shimmering star in the middle of an empty night sky.

Clarke leaned in, towards her, closing her eyes. Inches away, millimeters away. She could smell her alcohol-laced breath. Their lips were almost touching when a scream ripped the air in half.

 

* * *

 

Delirious. She could barely see as she rushed through the crowd, searching for the source of the noise. Someone had screamed Raven's name.

"Gina!" She shouted as she saw the silhouette of the girl with the feather sticking out of her hair, as she bent over her flailing girlfriend. Raven's eyes were squeezed tightly closed. Tears leaked from beneath their lids. The tanned skin on her face was being stretched to its limits, as she widened her mouth and let out an involuntary cry of agony.

"What's happened?" Lexa demanded of Gina. Octavia was approaching, too. She had also recognised the scream. She dragged Harper and Miller behind her, Harper dressed as Rosie the Riveter and Miller with a long blonde wig and sunglasses as Lady Gaga.

"I-I don't know," stuttered Gina. "We were just watching the movie and-and she just fell. She wasn't moving, her breathing was really fast, and she kept flinching every time I tried to touch her." She held Raven's hand. "Raven, it's alright. It's alright. Just tell me what's wrong." People were gathering round them in a circle to watch.

Clarke cursed herself for having drunk so much when she was the only one here with any medical knowledge. "Octavia, can you get someone? Get a grown up. Ask them to call for a doctor. There must be one around here."

"What about an ambulance?"

"It's not an extreme enough case for an ambulance." She hit herself on the head, for she was seeing double. "Raven told me if anything like this ever happened to not call an ambulance for her. It costs thousands of dollars and her dad can't afford to pay for that."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure. I'd think it was her leg, but I've never seen her like this before." Clarke reached out to touch her, but Lexa slapped her hand away.

"Everyone stop! You need to leave her alone now. Stop touching her, give her some space!"

"Lexa, what's the matter?" Clarke asked her, as everyone retreated from Raven, who was gasping for air.

"Clarke, I think she's having a panic attack."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Yes, Clarke is going to finally start realizing her crush on Lexa. The reason I chose to write about Raven and the panic attack is because I would have liked to have seen Raven dealing with mental illness on the show, instead of using her as a tool for the col storyline. I have never actually suffered a panic attack, so if I wrote anything that sounds inaccurate, it would be nice if I could have feedback in the comments.  
> For those of you who noticed, there was a bit of fourth wall breaking in this chapter. I used to be a fan of supernatural (yeah I know) and I still remember loads about it. When I was going through the wikipedia pages of all the 100 actors, I found out that Luisa D'Oliveira (Emori) played the girl who drowned while apple bobbing and Marie Avgeropoulos (Octavia) played the girl who drowned in a toilet.  
> If you want to talk to me about the story, my tumblr is sharkgriffin  
> Next chapter: Linctavia


	10. Chapter 10

The wheels cut through an uneven pile of Autumn leaves, crushing them into the dirt beneath. After the weekend before's party, the park was significantly cleaner. Most of the litter had been collected, the giant swing and movie screens had been taken down and stall owners had driven off to other locations. Now, there was tranquility; the sounds of children laughing, of birds chirping as they flew from tree to tree. Families stood at the side of the pond, tearing apart slices of bread and chucking them in for the ducks to feed off.

Lexa gripped Raven's wheelchair tighter as they went down a slope, to ensure she would not roll away from her, and straight into the water.

Raven was still able to walk. However, she was suffering through a large amount of pain, Clarke had said. Clarke's mom worked at the hospital and was Raven's doctor.

As soon as the friends had figured out that Raven was having a panic attack at that hopeless Halloween party, they had done their best to escort her to a safe space, that was not so enclosed. The hill by the apple bobbing stand, beside which churros were being sold was ideal. Raven was able to talk to them, they kept her talking, as they supported her, gently, with the lightest of touches. She told them how she was feeling. She said she could hear her heartbeat, that her head ached and her leg ached. She told them she thought she was about to die. They helped her relax in the grass. They brought her water. Lexa instructed her to breathe, in and out. She had been so pale, just like she had looked in the hospital when she was in a coma was what Clarke whispered to her, while dazed. The alcohol had made her more distressed.

After about an hour, Raven was calm. The panic attack was over. Octavia called her dad to come and pick her up, who promptly arrived. The next day, they heard she had been taken into a hospital, because she was experiencing extreme discomfort around the area of her wound, and, though she could still walk, she would feel jarring jabs of "fire" with every step she took, so she had to resort to using a wheelchair.

As they discussed on private chats, Clarke said she thought the pain may have been what triggered the panic attack. Lexa corrected her that panic attacks are not necessarily triggered by anything. Instead, they could be blamed on many things, including low blood sugar or cardiac problems. However, panic attacks could also be symptoms of having an anxiety disorder.

Raven had not shown up to school the Monday following Halloween. Nor the Tuesday. Nor the Wednesday. Nor for the rest of the week. It was finally on Sunday that Clarke and Lexa were able to see their dear friend, to take her on a trip to the park. She had not been out of the house much, so she could appreciate the fresh air. She smiled as the wind lapped her face and pulled back her ponytail.

"I didn't want to worry you guys," Raven said. "You all have college essays to write and Clarke has that fucking portfolio of hers and you have your SATs in what? Two months?"

"Five weeks, actually."

"See? I was just scared I couldn't be good enough, with my leg. I always worry of how life will be for me, now that I'm useless."

"You're always saying that you don't need your legs to be a mechanic. You have an amazing brain."

"Don't forget amazing ass," she smiled. "But, you know, what if people can't take me seriously?"

"Then...then they're stupid. There are other smart people who are taken seriously. There's Stephen Hawking-"

"Yep. And he's a disabled, white straight man. Here I am, disabled, bisexual, Latina."

"It was just an example. You have different disabilities as well, but you are still probably almost as intelligent as him."

"Ha! Sure. Anyway, thanks for listening. And thanks for helping me when I had the, you know, panic attack. How did you know about it?"

Lexa sighed and pressed onwards, taking Raven back up to the picnic space where Clarke awaited them. "I had to see a psychiatrist because I was having suffering anxiety after my friend, Luna, went missing nearly a year ago."

Raven looked at her in horror as she quickly went through the details of what happened and of the trauma her and particularly Anya had faced earlier in life.

"Shit, that's messed up," Raven commented on Lexa's biological parents. "And your sister is Miss Woods? Well, she's doing well for herself after all that."

"I had an anxiety attack only ever once. Most of what I faced was mild. It wasn't extreme anxiety...or something, but I did my research, and so I knew what to do if it ever happened again and I found out about panic attacks at the same time."

"Guess I shouldn't be complaining about my issues to you with all the shit you've faced," Raven said, and Lexa shook her head.

"No. Do not do that. Don't-don't devalue your experience because you think mine is somehow worse. Your feelings matter, too. What did you spend the week doing?"

"Well, my dad didn't want me to leave the house, so I stayed in bed most days on tumblr, and I played around with this game I have where you design robots. I played on the  _Sims 4_. Yeah, I'm a loser, don't judge me. My dad signed me up for therapy which I start next week. I binge watched  _Parks and Rec_ again."

"What's  _Parks and Rec?_ "

"How do you not know that? You're on tumblr, you must know!"

"I just reblog photos that I find pretty and posts about social justice. I'm not a fandom blog!"

"Come on. Treat yo'self? No? Um, do you know Li'l Sebastian? No? Okay, well I need to sit you down and watch it. It's like the unproblematic TV sitcom fave. And you're kind of like April."

"I don't know who that is."

"You'll know soon enough. My dad also got me some new CDs he thought I might like and one of them is the cast album from this new Broadway show. I'm really enjoying it so far. You like history, right?"

"Yes I do," Lexa responded.

"Great because it's a historical play and I'm sending it to you."

There was something Octavia, Raven and Lexa all had in common; other than their friends and some of their interests, they all came from single parent families; Octavia's mom died in a car crash four years before, and she had never met her father, so she lived with her foster mom, Indra, who just so happened to be Lexa's boss. Raven's parents were both very much alive and in the picture, but Raven lived with her dad because her mom was on a rehabilitation program. Finally, there was Lexa, raised by her uncle, though one could argue her sister counted as an adult, though technically Anya had never been a parent figure to Lexa. Clarke had lived in a single parent home for about two years before her mom's boyfriend moved in with them.

Clarke drew the tree. Her delicate pencil strokes covered the page as she added the grooves to the tree trunk. This was the first pencil study Lexa had seen her draw. Clarke confided in her ages ago that even though she loved pencil drawings, her art teacher had told her to stick to using color. Lexa disagreed. The tree was marvellous. It was not necessarily realistic. You would not look at it, even later in its finished stage and think it was a black and white photograph. When people think of good art, they assume it has to be realistic. No, it was not entirely realistic, despite the endless detail. There was something magical about this tree that made you long for art skills of your own.

The blonde girl looked up, startled as the other two arrived. She was sprawled across a plaid picnic blanket with her stomach pressed to the earth and her chin resting on her arm. She was listening to music with her star-shaped earplugs. As Clarke went to press the pause button, Lexa saw that she had been listening to _Girls Like Girls_ by Hayley Kiyoko; the ultimate anthem for women who fell in love with women. And the music video in fact illustrated an interracial queer couple where one of them was likely bisexual and the song was sung by a queer woman of color.

"Ay, Clarke. Don't turn that off. Turn it up," Raven instructed her as Lexa lifted her from the wheelchair, using all her upper body strength. She placed her on one side of Clarke, then sat on the other side. Clarke unplugged the headphones and put the song back to the beginning.

 

_Stealing kisses from your missus. Does it make you freak out?_

 

Raven joined in and poked Clarke and Lexa to join, too.

 

_Got you fussin', got you worried,_

_Scared to let your guard down._

 

The song continued. Another verse, with Raven headbanging to the beat that you were not usually able to headbang to. Then it was the chorus, which they all screamed, causing a few soccer moms with young children to turn to them with raised eyebrows.

 

_Saw your face, heard your name._

_Gotta get with you._

_Girls like girls like boys do - nothing new._

_Isn't this why we came?_

_Gotta get with you._

_Girls like girls like boys do - nothing new._

 

They dived into the basket of food which Clarke and Lexa had spent the morning preparing round at Clarke's house, with a little help from Marcus who was quite good in the kitchen. Raven ripped off a slice from the homemade pizza, topped with olives, basil and onion along with the mozzarella and tomato that made a pizza.

"You should have made me none pizza with left beef. That would have been my dream," said Raven as she drank some of Lexa's homemade lemonade. It comprised mainly of juice which she had squeezed by hand, and sugar but not too much. Lexa bit into a sweet potato falafel.

"You know what?" Raven asked them, once the song had finished. "We should listen to  _She Keeps Me Warm_ or another gay song, and really piss those women off. Actually, Clarke, play  _Anaconda_!"

"I don't have it."

"Fuck you! That is the greatest song of this century!" Apparently swearing so loudly was enough to get the soccer moms to give them another disapproving glare.

"Clarke, Raven, isn't that Octavia over there?" Across the pond stood a girl in a leather jacket, with black hair combed over to one side of her head, while the entirety of the other side was french braided. It certainly looked like Octavia from the back, based on height, and Lexa had seen her wear that hairstyle before. She could not be sure as in her opinion, all leather jackets looked the same, but she thought she had seen Octavia wearing that jacket into school. Lexa was wearing her good glasses today which had made Clarke and Raven laugh when they saw her, but it meant her eyesight was sufficiently stronger. This meant she could pick out all of the details about this clue, including the boy she was holding hands with. The boy bent down, wrapping his arms around the girl's waist and kissed her.

"Holy fuck, that is her!"

"She said she had a cold and couldn't come today," Clarke told them as she leaned over to get a better view.

"What a piece of shit! She lied her way out of hanging with her friends so she could go on a date with a dumb jock!"

"Raven, Lincoln's not a jock," Lexa told her firmly. "He does sport but he is also an artist and he's a lovely person. He works in a bookshop as well."

"Yeah, and how many times have you cancelled plans with us to hang with Gina? Or Finn?"

"Hey, that was different. I-" But Raven could not come up with a reason as to why Octavia going on a date with Lincoln was different to any of the dates Raven had been on. "Let's go over there and surprise her." She tried to stand and grunted as pain shot up her leg. "Okay, new plan. What's Lincoln's surname?"

"Um, Trimani?" Lexa answered her.

Raven cupped her hands around her mouth. "YO! OCTAVIA BLAKE! LINCOLN TRIMANI! OCTAVIA BLAKE! LINCOLN TRIMANI!"

Everyone turned to stare at her, including Octavia and Lincoln so far away from them. Lexa thought she saw Octavia shaking her head while covering her eyes, too embarrassed to even look.

"OCTAVIA-"

"Raven, please stop."Raven gritted her teeth as she pulled herself up, using her wheelchair as support. When in position, she flopped back down, only this time so she was sitting in the chair, and using her hands, moved the wheelchair in the direction of the other two.

"Damn, she can move fast," Clarke said, not quite looking properly at Lexa. "She was right when she said her arms were strong."

"Shouldn't we go after her?"

"There's no stopping her and I don't want to leave our things behind. And yes, she knows we're not going after her, so she'll probably convince those two to come back to us."

Raven was true to Clarke's prediction. Minutes later, she returned, Octavia and Lincoln marching behind her. Octavia appeared disgruntled and kept muttering to herself, while Lincoln smiled down at Lexa.

"Clarke Griffin, Lexa Woods, meet Lincoln Trimani and  _Judas_ Blake."

"Raven, how do you even know who Judas is?" Octavia asked, impatiently.

"My mom is a Republican. Shocking, I know." From what Lexa had heard, Raven's mom was somewhat more open minded than other Republicans she knew of. For one, she was relaxed about immigration due to the fact that her husband's parents were immigrants from Mexico. Additionally, Lexa knew her to be accepting of her daughter's sexuality, despite her not entirely understanding it. However, Raven had complained about her condemnation of abortions.

"You haven't set foot in a church in ten years," Octavia argued. "The other day, you said that the only true Gods are Laverne Cox and Gina Rodriguez!"

Clarke gave a cough that sounded a lot like she was saying "Shay Mitchell."

"No way, Clarke." The debate about the true Gods went back and forth as Clarke, Raven and Octavia threw in names of celebrities whom Lexa had never heard of, and, from the confused look on Lincoln's face, he did not know either. Finally, Lexa spoke up.

"Bernie Sanders."

"Yes, Lexa. Bernie Sanders is the one true God."

"And Obama. And Michelle Obama."

"Can we just drop this, please?" Octavia begged them.

"Sure. Let's go back to the subject at hand. Octavia Blake is a traitor to humanity!"

"Raven, leave her alone."

"How many dates have you been on him with?"

Octavia bit her lip. "This is our third date. Fourth if you count us meeting on Halloween."

"And you did not tell us. Why so secretive, O? How do I know you're not keeping other secrets? Are you friends with Ontari? Are you a Russian spy? Is Bellamy even your brother? Are you voting for Trump?"

"Knock it off, Raven. And never accuse me of voting for Trump, ever again!"

"Octavia, Lincoln, would you like to sit down and eat with us? We have loads of food," Clarke offered them as she smoothed the picnic blanket out and drew in her knees so there was more space to sit. Octavia sat and poured herself a lemonade. The entire time that she was drinking, she watched Raven, scowling at her, and continued to scowl as she refilled her cup, so that some of the bubbly liquid sloshed onto the grass.

After eating some cupcakes, they packed the crumb-coated cases into one of the plastic containers they had brought along, then Clarke proposed a competition.

"We race. Give each other piggy backs and see who can get from, let's see, from this tree, to that tree over there the fastest. And if the person carrying you puts you down or drops you, you have to go back to the start."

"Well, looks like I'm out," said Raven. "Guess I'm the judge. Are we going to have Clarke with Lexa and the two traitors together?"

 By the tree that was the starting position, Lexa knelt so that Clarke could leap onto her back. Clarke climbed up, gripping to her shoulder blades with short nails. It took a lot of effort for Lexa to stand once more; Clarke was likely heavier than her, despite Lexa being the taller of the two of them, but Lexa had always been strong. In karate classes, before she had to drop them, she had been able to flip over the oldest boy in the class who had been sixteen while she had been twelve, and had about a hundred pounds on her.

To her left, Octavia sat on Lincoln's back. She held onto him by linking her hands across his broad chest and leaning in close to his head.

Raven yelled for them to go and the two teams took off. Physically stronger and with longer legs, Lincoln was far faster than Lexa and Clarke, already halfway there within about five seconds. Running so fast was his first mistake, for Octavia began to slip, until Lincoln had to put her down. Octavia tried to get back up, but Raven was of course biased and shouted at them to return to the start.

Lexa walked, fast, but not too fast that Clarke might lose her balance. Lincoln and Octavia passed them as they went back, but were now catching up with them again. Lincoln was running but had changed his position so it was harder for Octavia to fall. Octavia was now also using her legs to lock herself onto him.

Two meters away was the other tree, the finishing line. Then it was one meter away, and then Lexa was right next to it. She reached up and touched it, then dropped Clarke onto the ground as they laughed and fell down, exhausted, yet delighted.

"And the winner is...TEAM CLEXA! Bad luck team linctavia."

"Oh, well," sighed Lincoln. "How about a consolation prize?" Octavia was kicking the tree, as she had always been competitive and hated losing at anything more than Raven hated losing at  _Cards Against Humanity._ She gave Raven another scowl, before Lincoln took her in his arms and ghosted his lips over hers.

"Gross, get a room!" said Raven.

"New game," Octavia announced, smirking as she drew away from Lincoln. "Me versus Raven. We see who can go faster; Raven in her wheelchair or me walking. I'm not allowed to run. Whaddya say, Reyes?"

"It's on, Blake."

The race between Raven and Octavia was hilarious, yet tense. Being the girls that they were, neither of them were taking this as a joke. No. They were acting as if this was a race in the Olympics in which to lose would actually have a price other than shame. Lincoln cheered on Octavia, who one the first race, walking so fast that she was practically jogging. Lexa chose to cheer on Raven because she had not had the best of weeks, and Clarke chose Raven for similar reasons.

They played some more. Dividing into two teams, it was their job to get a frisbee pass the frisbee five times back and forth between team members to get a point. Octavia and Lincoln won that game. Lexa and Octavia climbed up amongst the tree branches to see who could get the highest. Octavia was almost at the very top of the tree when she put her foot on a thin branch which cracked under her weight so she had to come back down as she would fall if she were to go any higher. Raven and Clarke had fun as they chased geese. They entered the small children's playground and had turns pushing each other on the swings, then going up and down the slide. Lincoln pushed the girls around and around on the roundabout.

It was discovered Raven had a horrible fear of wasps as one landed right on her arm. At Lexa's advice, she did not move, for that would make it more likely that the wasp would sting. Lincoln managed to softly bat it away with a leaf so that it caused none of them any harm. Raven, it seemed, was beginning to warm up to Lincoln, Lexa thought as Raven thanked him with a hug, then begged him to do the Hogwarts sorting hat quiz.

As the sun dipped lower in the sky and Raven handed her phone to Lincoln, Lexa and Clarke lay back on the dry ground, just lying and relaxing. Lexa had been so stressed this week, though she would never admit it, for she had attended three soccer team sessions in preparation for the big game in a few weeks, as well as cramming her brain with new knowledge until two in the morning at least four nights in a row, finally finishing her application and essay for college and being worried about Raven.

"It's been a fun day, hasn't it?" Clarke's face was red. It was not a hot day. In fact, over the last few days, the temperature had largely decreased after such a warm summer. On the group chat yesterday, Jasper had pointed out "Winter is coming." There was unlikely to be snow for a while, but it would still be freezing in their little town. What must have caused the dramatic change in the color of Clarke's skin was the vigorous exercise they had been doing for the last three hours. Clarke was not a particularly active person; she confided in Lexa that gym class was her least favorite class in school, and that she had pretended to be sick so many weeks in middle school to get out of it.

Lexa stared at Clarke. Did she remember what had unfurled in almost that very same spot eight days before? She had tried to kiss Lexa, and Lexa had leaned in. They almost had kissed. For Lexa, platonic kissing was not something she could understand. She had never made out with someone just for fun, like Clarke and Raven and Octavia did all the time. The only person she had ever kissed on the lips was Costia. She loved Costia, then Costia broke her heart.

She had been ready to try out this friendship kissing to see what it was like. It was Raven's panic attack that had interrupted them. It had not been a big deal to Clarke, as she could see, for they had not mentioned it this whole time. Either that or she had forgotten, for she had been very drunk at the time. The thing was that now, Lexa did want to still kiss one of her friends, just for amusement, just for fun, but she had no idea how to ask. She would have to wait until the next party. She thought Raven would be happy to oblige.

Clarke's hand met hers. Clarke, her best friend. They leaned into each other, Clarke's golden tresses merging with Lexa's soft brown waves. "HUFFLEPUFF!" they heard Raven's shout in the distance, as she congratulated Lincoln on his sorting.

"Hey, Lexa, I was wondering..."

"Yes?"

"Every year, my mom invites other families round for dinner on Thanksgiving. It's always Wells and his dad - Principal Jaha - and Raven and her family have been coming for the last two years, and last year Octavia, Bellamy and Indra came as well. So I was wondering if you wanted to come? My mom hasn't met your uncle yet, and I still haven't seen Aden. Miss Woods-I mean Anya could come, too, if she wanted."

Lexa moved her hip up against Clarke's and held her hand up in the air, tracing the grooves on her soft, pink palm. "Clarke, I would love that. Now, I had better get home. I have to study."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! Hope you're enjoying the story so far. It would be great to have some feedback in the comments, and as always, if you want to talk to me about the story, I'm on tumblr as sharkgriffin. x


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so group chat names Clarke=clarkeattack Lexa=nightblood Octavia=octagon Raven=badgirlraerae Jasper=chemystery Wells=wellsdone Monroe=monroegtg Maya=maya.vie Harper=harpy  
> I've seen the group chat layout lots of times before so I wanted to try it

Clarke Griffin was a terrible cook.

"Clarke!" her mom shouted as smoke billowed through the air from the open oven and the smoke alarm began to sound. Abby burst into the kitchen and continued to shout, but none of it was audible over the beeping from the alarm above them.

Marcus, who had gone down the road to grab some pecans to make his famous pecan pie, was now back, and rushed to open the windows and doors to let all the smoke waft out. There was so much of it that her eyes swam with tears. She did not know that just turning up the heat by the smallest fraction on the oven would cause the sweet potatoes to burn; she had been left in charge of them but had been sitting for what felt like hours while she waited for the edges to go brown and crispy. Now the edges were black and shrivelled as were the rest of the potatoes.

It was a good thing she had not been left to look after the turkey, she thought, as she was shooed up to her bedroom to stay out of the way until the guests arrived in five hours. Marcus had made the turkey last night when she was trying to sleep.

She rolled onto the mattress of her bed and pulled the pink duvet over her head, leaning in to look at her phone, where she had   missed messages, all from the group chat.

 

 **sk8rboi:** YO HAPPY THANKSGIVING

 **octagon:** I looooove celebrating the murder of native Americans!!!1!

 **sk8rboi:** Lmao

 **badgirlraerae:** O I thought u were better than this

 **octagon:** Nein just another racist my friend

 **sk8rboi:** Same

 **maya.vie:** So what are all you guys doing today?

 **monroegtg:** Sitting through uncles homophobic sermon rip me

 **badgirlraerae:** Have fun

 **nightblood:** Sends you a virtual hug

 **octagon:** Lexa what does ur username even mean?

 **nightblood:** It's what my sister used to call me because I always stayed up late and slept during the day at weekends and I thought it was pretty so I kept it as my username on most things.

 **nightblood:** Also I could ask the same about Monroe's username.

 **monroegtg:** It's Monroe got to go.

 **monroegtg:** IT'S FUNNY AND IT RHYMES

 **monroegtg:** I've gtg bc I don't have time for any of ur shit

 **nightblood:** Slow clap

 **monroegtg:** My grandparents be like "Zoe why is your hair so short?"

 **monroegtg:** Can't wait for the questions about where my bf is

 **sk8rboi:** I volunteer as tribute

 **nightblood:** Volunteer for what?

 **sk8rboi:** Fake bf sorry if i didn't make that clear

 **nightblood:** No, you didn't.

 **monroegtg:** Don't think they're ready for gender quad yet

 **monroegtg:** FUCK OH I MEANT GENDERQUEER

 **monroegtg:** KILL ME

 **sk8rboi:** Gender: triangle

 **badgirlraerae:** I identify as shape fluid between hexagon and pentagon and I'm attracted to circles

 **monroegtg:** Y'all sound like anti-sjws

 **harpy:** I love and accept u no matter ur shape orientation

 **monroegtg:** nO ONe LIKES U UR ugly

 **nightblood:** Nice grammar, Monroe.

 **monroegtg:** That some gr9 punctation,,,lex

 **monroegtg:** But,,,noah fence I have 3 phds :) I saw weed 3 times :) I have 9 abs :) and 7 gfs:) bye sweaty

 **nightblood:**?

 **nightblood:** I understand you are trying to be funny but I don't get it.

 **sk8rboi:** Have u been living under a rock?

 **nightblood:** Indeed I have.

 **badgirlraerae:** ROASTED

 **monroegtg:** I actually wanted to ask u guys something

 **sk8rboi:** I thought we had the day off school

 **monroegtg:** Hey chill just wanted to know if y'all could start using they/them pronouns for me

 **monroegtg:** I rly don't like she anymore and I was kind of using it so people would find it easier

 **sk8rboi:** If u don't use their pronouns right I'm removing u from the chat

 **monroegtg:** Thank <3

 **sk8rboi:** I will do anything for my platonic spouse <3

 **harpy** _sent an image:_ _[75c6f192814ff10d1899c8d476284ddf-7.jpg](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2014-12/5/15/tmp/webdr07/75c6f192814ff10d1899c8d476284ddf-7.jpg)_

 **harpy:** Is this what vaginas look like while on lsd

 **octagon:**..........

 **sk8rboi:** LMFAO IM CRyIGN

 **chemystery:** DELETE THISSSSS

 **badgirlraerae:** Wtf THE FUCK

 **monroegtg:** Where's Monty he needs to exorcise u sinners

 **badgirlraerae:** My poor baby these homosexuals have corrupted you

 **harpy:** I was already corrupt

 **maya.vie:** Jasper where have u been?

 **monroegtg:** MONTY

 **chemystery:** Asleep

 **monroegtg:** MONTY

 **maya.vie:** It's 1pm

 **badgirlraerae:** Not that bad

 **monroegtg:** MONTY

 **badgirlraerae:** Once I slept till 6 in the evening

 **monroegtg:** MONTY

 **harpy:** Was just a thought while admiring some art

 **badgirlraerae:** My pure mind has been corrupted

 **octagon:** ..."pure mind"...bitch WHERE

 **badgirlraerae:** Sshhhhhhh my love

 **monroegtg:** MONTY

 **chemystery:** I mean you're not wrong...

 **octagon:** Why do you know what a vagina looks like on lsd?

 **monroegtg:** He must be asleep

 **badgirlraerae:** OOOOOOOOOOOO

 **chemystery:** You must have missed out on the lsd last night

 **badgirlraerae:** What were u and Monroe doing last night Harper?

 **badgirlraerae:** *5 wink emojis*

 **sk8rboi:** *3 face with tears of joy emojis*

 **chemystery:** Monty's phones prob out of charge he discovered dubsmash yesterday and kept sending ones of him doing Star Wars

 

Clarke tried to get over the absolute ridiculousness of the above conversation, but this was what most of her exchanges with her friends via their phones was like. She typed out her own message.

 

 **clarkeattack:** GUESS WHO ALMOST BURNT THE KITCHEN DOWN

 **nightblood:** Clarke...

 **maya.vie:** What happened?

 **nightblood:** We're still getting food, right?

 **clarkeattack:** I think Marcus is taking care of it

 **nightblood:** Clarke, I love you but you need cooking lessons.

 **clarkeattack:** Love u too lexi-poo

 **nightblood:** *middle finger emoji*

 **badgirlraerae:** GAY

 **nightblood:** A few days ago she texted me to tell me she tried to make pasta but it stuck to the bottom of the saucepan so she had dry pasta in the same of a plate.

 **nightblood:** *shape

 **clarkeattack:** Leave me alone

 **clarkeattack:** Stop pulling receipts on me

 **wellsdone:** What did you do with the pasta plate?

 **maya.vie:** WELLS

 **wellsdone:** Sorry I had to go shopping with my dad for presents for everyone

 **clarkeattack:** Can't u wait till tomorrow for that?

 **wellsdone:** Maybe u won't get ur present if u have that attitude Clarke Griffin now tell me what happened with the pasta plate

 **clarkeattack:** ...I poured tomato sauce and cheese on it and ate it

 **badgirlraerae:** Ur fave is problematic: Clarke Griffin

 **clarkeattack:** LEAVE ME ALONE

 

As she passed the time, she went on her  _Netflix_ account and clicked on the next episode of  _Pretty Little Liars._ She was rewatching the entire thing while she waited for season 6b to air, and though disappointed with the big reveal as to who A was, that did not mean all her love for the show had vanished. She was currently watching season 3. Then, she thought that her mom would want her to do something productive seeing as any other Thursday would have been a school day, so she got out her sketchbook and best pencils, and started to draw.

Her art teacher had always said she Clarke was one of the least infuriating students as she had to be forced into drawing portraits; the complete opposite of the others in her class who were told they would not get the grades they wanted if they did not stop drawing portraits and focused on still life and landscapes instead. When she did have to do portraits, she used her friends, though Octavia was the least photogenic person she had ever met and would often pose with her eyes closed. Right now, she had a strong desire to paint a portrait.

She went through the pictures on her phone now, and found a selfie of her and Lexa at the Halloween party. This was the one she had sent to Octavia, the least blurred, with the two of them leaning against each other. She needed this for reference.

Usually, it was the eyes that she put the most work into, for she loved Lexa's eyes; everyone did. Recently, she had been unable to stop focusing on Lexa's lips. She looked at them when she was with her in public, and her eyes jumped straight to them when she was scrolling through her iPhone camera, deleting all unnecessary photos. She saw Lexa's face at night, and her lips. Kissable. This was the word she always thought of when looking at her. What made the situation worse was that she vaguely remembered asking Lexa to kiss her on Halloween.

She thought her friend was hot. So what? She thought Octavia was hot, but she would not date her. She thought Bellamy was hot, but she certainly would not date him. She thought Raven was hot. She had developed a crush on Raven when she first met her, which they could now joke over. When she first met Lexa, she had been stunned by her gorgeousness when she stood flustered and laying eyes upon her for the first time in Principle Jaha's office. She had gotten past that attraction to become such good friends with her. This probably meant nothing. It was just some kind of semi-crush that she would get over soon enough.

 

* * *

 

 "Clarke, could you pass the mashed potato?" asked Wells at the other side of the table. The dish was in front of her, so she gave it to Raven who then gave it to Octavia and then finally it reached him. The five families sat around the long table in the middle of the dining room. Clarke had always thought it odd that a family of three had such a large dining table. It should have been able to accommodate ten but they had taken a chair from Clarke's bedroom, one from the office and two from the garden to allow for all fourteen dinner guests to sit.

Everyone had arrived at roughly the same time, incredibly. First were Wells and Principal Jaha with their mass of gifts to give to each of them, though Octavia, Bellamy and Indra came about two minutes later. Indra kissed Abby and Marcus on both cheeks for she was already friendly with both of them. Raven and her dad came at the same time as Lexa with her family. Raven's dad pushed her wheelchair and helped her into her seat on Clarke's right. He looked really similar to her with the same reddish-brown hair and black eyes, though his skin was a few shades darker, his face thinner, and he had a mustache. He was seated next to Indra.

Clarke was surprised by the appearance of the members of the Woods family. None of them looked alike. She had already seen both Lexa and Anya and knew of their differences in genetics, but she had thought one of them might bear some resemblance to their uncle. This was not the case. Gustus Woods was frighteningly large; looking like he may once have been a wrestler in the prime of his life. Most of his face was obscured behind a menacing black beard, but his blue eyes had a shine that made him seem friendly. His son, Aden, was blonde, small and pale. He could have been much younger than his twelve years and Clarke could not get it out of her mind that he looked a bit like the child from  _Love Actually._

Gustus shook hands with Abby as he introduced himself to her, and she pointed him to a seat to her right. With everyone in position, Abby rose to give a toast to the celebration, then cut into the turkey and served some onto everyone's plate, other than Lexa and Aden who were both vegetarians.

"I remember you," Clarke heard Bellamy say to Anya. "I think you were the trainee gym teacher when I was in my senior year."

"I'm still at the school."

"Really?"

"Yes. I'm Anya. I'm Lexa's older sister."

"Right, right. Bellamy. Octavia's older brother." The two of them shook hands.

Raven was muttering across the table to her father in Spanish while Lexa listened in. As someone who studied many languages, she could understand some of what they were saying, though would mouth words she did not know the meanings to after they had been spoken.

Wells was talking with Aden, though Clarke was too far to hear what about. They shared the mashed potato between them as they laughed. Maybe they had been telling each other jokes.

"Hey," Clarke said to Octavia, leaning back in her chair so as to be able to see past Raven. "Who are you texting?"

"Lincoln," she replied. She seemed a little embarrassed that someone had caught her on her phone, but she was hardly being subtle. "He's up in Washington DC with his family."

"Octavia, give me that phone now," commanded Indra and Octavia reluctantly handed it over.

"Oh, I forgot to mention," Octavia whispered, turning back to Clarke. "We have a new band member."

Clarke had almost entirely forgotten about the band. They had not had a rehearsal in over a month, though in that last rehearsal, their music had definitely improved. Octavia proposed they begin with a type of indie love song, before crossing it with rock music later in the song. Octavia was down for writing lyrics, but Monty had thought it would be easier if they did covers.

"Who is it?"

"Lexa," grinned Octavia. "Her exams are almost out the way, but she's already practising the harp everyday, and I think it might work really well. We'll start practising again next week."

And so, the dinner went on. After giving up on trying to translate what Raven was saying to her dad, Lexa turned to Clarke to tell her that this was some of the best food she had ever tasted. She had no turkey but with her mashed potato and sweet potatoes and nut stuffing and sweet corn and roasted root vegetables, she had enough to make a filling meal. In fact, Clarke thought she may have eaten more than she had.

"Careful, there. You need to save some room for the pecan pie."

"Clarke, have you heard about the new  _Harry Potter_ play?" This question came from Jaha.

"Huh?"

"You're a fan of  _Harry Potter,_ aren't you Clarke? You have that scarf for the...snake house."

"Slytherin. Yeah, I guess I'm a fan. Do you mean  _the Cursed Child_?"

"It was called something along those lines, yes."

"Yeah, they announced it ages ago. Of course I know about it. But I won't get to see it. It's on in England."

Jaha looked disappointed that she already knew of this, but continued trying to make conversation with her. "And you're seeing  _Star Wars_ with Wells?"

"Yeah."

"I've never actually seen any of the movies. I've always been more of a  _Star Trek_ man. Who would have know that when I asked you to show Lexa around on that first day, you would have become such close friends?"

Clarke smiled. "Maybe you're psychic."

He waved his hands. "No, no, it's just a kind of intuition you have when you work with teenagers for so long."

Marcus started collecting plates once everybody was done with his pecan pie. He had been able to predict that people would want second servings and had made it large enough that there was thirty slices cut from it. That would be her dessert the next day. Octavia leaned back in her chair.

"God, I feel so full. And I'm really tired for some reason. What time is it?"

"SHOW TIME!" Raven shouted.

Octavia squinted at her. "You what?"

"It's from that musical I told you about."

"Oh my God," Octavia groaned. "Enough with that. She's been driving me mad with this all week. Clarke, you have a watch. What time is it?"

"Eight thirty."

"What is wrong with me? Why do I feel so tired?"

"Side effect of yesterday's LSD," Raven whispered and Lexa giggled, then she stood. Wells and his dad had already handed out presents to people. For the adults, there had been wine bottles. Clarke had been given a pink dressing gown with a C stitched on the front pocket. She had a dressing gown upstairs, but it was old and dirtied easily. She would need more than one for the upcoming winter months. Lexa now announced that she had got presents for everyone.

"Lexa, you didn't have to do that." Clarke knew that buying everyone presents was not strictly something she could afford.

"Well, I didn't actually know how many people would be here, so I bought ones for you four, Clarke, Raven, Octavia and Wells. They match your personalities." She gave them cylinder objects hidden away inside wrapping paper.

They were candles. Raven had a flavor known as "Pink Grapefruit." Lexa explained this was because of her lively, sunny personality. It made her think of hot tropical paradises where colorful fruits grew. Octavia's candle was called "Madagascan Orchid." She could think of no justification for this other than it just sounded like Octavia. Wells had "Vanilla Lime," because he was kind and because the green of the wax reminded her of the small tree he had in a pot in his locker. Then came Clarke's. "Kilimanjaro Stars."

Lexa looked shyly at her. "Do you like it?"

Clarke sniffed it. "I love it."

"I don't know about Kilimanjaro. I suppose it sounds like 'kill a man' which I can imagine you doing, and getting away with it because no one would suspect you." Raven started applauding this. "The main reason I bought it was because of the stars, because you paint stars a lot, and you like the starry night painting."

Clarke did like the starry night painting. She had it embroidered on pants, on a skirt, on a notebook, on postcards stuck up on her walls. It was even the lockscreen for her phone, right now. She hugged Lexa.

In the corner of her eye, she could see her mom and Gustus discussing how glad they were to have met each other. "Your daughter seems like a good friend for Lexa to have. Lexa hasn't had that many close friends in her life," Gustus said to Abby.

Later that night, once everyone had gone home, Clarke lay back on the mattress, going through tumblr on her phone. She had lit the candle and the fragrance of those Kilimanjaro stars hit her nose. It was beautiful. The scent remained once she had blown out the candle and switched off the lights. She closed her eyes. Behind her lids, she saw Lexa's face and felt a sense of pleasure. Shit, she thought. This could not end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. As always it would be great if you could leave a comment and come talk to be on tumblr at sharkgriffin. Also with the recent Taylor Swift events I feel I should probably edit out Lexa's love of her.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep it's time for some serious shade. How do y'all think Clarke would feel about the dead lesbian trope? In this chapter we have some more of Clarke and Lexa being super gay as well as finally some full Minty and Harpoe

"I can't believe it."

"I know," said Clarke.

Lexa pushed her glasses back up her nose. "Why would they do that? Why would they kill her?"

Clarke shrugged. "Because she's gay. Us gays don't get happy endings."

Clarke and Lexa crouched in front of Clarke's iPad on the carpet in Lexa's room. On the screen was the finale of  _Orphan Black_ season 3, as Sarah was reunited with her daughter, Kira. Meanwhile, Delphine had just been shot in a parking lot. Clarke had seen this episode when it had first aired, back in June, but watching it now with Lexa did not make it any harder to cope with.

"I thought Delphine was bi," said Lexa.

"I don't know. They said she was bi but they also said Cosima was, then they changed their minds. Whatever she is, it still counts as the dead lesbian trope."

"Dead lesbian trope?"

"Or bury your gays. But it affects lesbians and bi women much more than anyone else. And it happens on everything. On  _Pretty Little Liars_ there was Maya and Shana. And Emily has never had as much romantic focus as the straight girls. One of the lesbian inmates died on  _Orange is the New Black_ and then there was in  _the L-Word_ and Charlie died on  _Supernatural_ I've heard. It happens on every show and it's kind of sickening."

"But she can't be dead. We didn't see the body. Helena survived getting shot and Rachel survived the pencil in the eye."

"That's what I told myself at first. But it's been a few months now, and I'm starting to think it's not going to be the same this time." Clarke sighed. "Sorry for making you watch that." The credits rolled as Rachel came face to face with her adopted mother, the woman she had thought was dead since she was a child.

Lexa's room was decorated with little yellow post-it notes containing neatly handwritten reminders about how to do particular types of Math questions. Tomorrow, she would be taking her SATs. She was one of the few seniors to be taking them, as she had not attended the school last year while all of the others would be retaking the exam to try and boost their grades if they had gotten really low grades on their first try.

Lexa had supposedly called to cancel going into work the day before and had not turned up to soccer practice all week. She had not left the house since she got home from school on Friday, and had not slept, either. Anya had decided enough was enough and rang Clarke begging her to make Lexa do something other than studying. It turned out all that was needed to distract Lexa was Tatiana Maslany.

A thin layer of frost covered the ground along the street. There had been more earlier, enough for it to have been classed as snow until salt had been tossed onto the roads causing it to melt. Weather predictions said they would not be as lucky for the next few days, that the snow was going to settle and cause trouble on roads. Lexa was going to leave extra early, just in case of delays. She could not let snow get in the way of her college dreams.

"I'd better go then," Clarke said. "Let you get back to your studying." She picked up her things and packed away her iPad, making her way to the bedroom door. "Get a good night's rest."

 

* * *

 

 Monty stomped through the thick layer of snow that covered the ground, leaving behind heavy footprints that revealed the pattern on the bottom of his boots. He was wrapped up with a Ravenclaw scarf wound tightly around his neck and blocking half of his mouth. Everyone in the friendship group seemed to have one of those scarves. His black hair which escaped from under his beanie contained small crystals from this morning’s downfall. This made his hair sparkle.

Lexa was sitting on a bench. Leaving the house early had granted her plenty of time to sit and look over her notes before the big test. She shivered and watched her breath turn to frosty smoke in front of her face. As he approached her, she moved over so there was room for him to sit on the bench.

“Lexa, can I talk to you about something?”

“Is it serious?”

“I think so, yes,” he said, timidly, as he perched on the bench beside her. She folded the page of her book and slid it back into her bag.

“I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to help you.”

“I think I’m gay!” he says, loudly. He then realises the volume of his words and looks in all directions, but few people wanted to be outside in this weather. Those who were outside were partaking in a snowball fight far from them. They were too caught up in their own exhilaration to eavesdrop on this personal conversation.

“You know already, don’t you?”

Lexa feels heat reach her cheeks. “Raven overheard you discussing it with Harper. And she told us.”

Monty was angry.

“I told them to not discuss it with you because we couldn’t force you out of the closet or anything but all the girls and Monroe already know. They know about you and Nathan.”

“You don’t know the whole story.”

“Tell me it.”

Monty inhaled deeply. “I don’t know. I was never really close with him until last year when we became friends. He was very out by then and he had an out of school boyfriend, Bryan. I thought he was hot, but I tried to push away the thoughts because he had a boyfriend and told myself I was only thinking that way because he’s gay and I wanted to please him.”

Lexa knew that made no sense.

“I got really scared, because I realized I’ve never liked girls. And at a party back last March, he’d broken up with Bryan about a month before. And I was completely sober and I can’t remember all the details, but I kissed him. And I gave him a blow job.”

“Oh.” That had escalated quickly.

“But we got interrupted because people were screaming that there’d been a car crash down the road and Murphy and Clarke and Octavia and Raven had been in it. So for the next few weeks we were too worried about Raven to think about it, then Miller tried to talk to me about it again and I told him I just did it to make him happy.”

“Don’t you think that might have been offensive and inaccurate?”

“I know, Lexa, but it was all I could say. I was scared because I really liked Miller. Like him. I convinced Harper to pretend to be my girlfriend to prove I was straight to him and she was fine at first but got annoyed so we told people we broke up.”

“If you had a girlfriend, you weren’t necessarily straight. You could be bisexual. Or pansexual.”

“I’m not. I definitely only like guys. I didn’t see Miller over the summer but back at school, he was trying to be friendly with me. Then I started thinking about him and had to start avoiding him again, but Harper must have told him I like him because it’s been happening again and he’s trying to get me to talk. I feel pathetic. Lexa, I want to take him out on a date, but I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“My mom is homophobic. She hates people who are gay and she used to say to me when I was younger that she would throw me out if I turned out to be gay. You know, in passing. She didn’t suspect that I was.”

“My biological parents were homophobic.”

He looks up. “How did you come out to them?”

“I didn’t. I live with my uncle who is much more liberal. My sister is pansexual and aromantic and had already come out when she brought her first girlfriend home, so it was easier.”

He looked disappointed.

“Monty, what’s important is that you feel comfortable. You shouldn’t feel forced to come out to anyone you don’t want to. Everyone in the friendship group is queer.”

“Except for Jasper and Maya?”

“Except for Jasper and Maya.”

“Start off by coming out to us. And you know that Nathan must like you, so I expect he will accept your request for a date with him.” Although, with what he had put Miller through, maybe he deserved to be turned down, she thought. Lexa loved Monty. He was by far the one of the boys who she was closest to, but it still could not excuse his behaviour, though she appreciated his fear.

“You can come out to your family when you feel ready. Or never if you want. No one will judge you if you don’t.”

“What a mess,” said Monty. “Thanks, Lexa.”

At lunchtime, Monty approached their table, his face red and sweaty, regardless of the lack of heat within the school building. Lexa had taken the first half of the test and was allowed a break before coming back and doing the Math. So far, she thought it had been good, though she could not be sure.

Monty gave a stuttered introduction, before informing everyone in the group that he was gay and wanted them all to respect him. Jasper gave his friend a bro fist and patted him on the shoulder like friends do, Clarke and Lexa beamed up at him.

“Don’t you have anything to say to Miller, Monty?” Harper asked him.

“Just make out with Miller already,” shouted Raven.

“Miller, can I talk to you privately?” Monty asked him. With a wink to his peers, Miller got up from the table and followed after his soon-to-be boyfriend.

“Just so you guys know, I’m queer, too,” Harper announced.

"We all knew that, Harper," said Raven in response.

Then came the Math. Lexa was not as good at Math as she was at every other subject. Science, she could do. English, she could do. History was something she greatly enjoyed as well as having no difficulty with it, the same as with languages, but Math was something she always struggled with. Five minutes left to go and she sat, her glasses steamy, her fingers cold, her foot tapping the floor. She was in a room with four others, all of whom appeared to have finished, while she was stuck on an algebra equation that she simply could not figure out. In her head, she had a song stuck. It was something about being satisfied, a song from that musical Raven loved so much that she had been singing for the whole lunch hour, which Lexa had not yet gotten round to listening to. She knew she should for it sounded quite good, but she could not deal with an obsession while she had exams.

An answer dawned on her, something she had not been able to see before. By now, she felt as if she was going to faint. The heaters were not on and it must have been below zero in there, at least it felt that way. She was not entirely certain this was the answer, maybe fifty percent certain, but it was the best shot she had, so she scribbled down the answer just as the examiner asked for them to put their pens down. Lexa relaxed back into her seat, breathing the deepest sigh of relief.

"Do not talk to one another. I will collect in your papers, then dismiss you row by row."

 

* * *

 

 "Lexa, I'm so proud of you." Clarke wrapped her in a hug as they stood on the icy school front steps. The bell had rung minutes before and her friends had come to meet her once they got to their lockers to grab their things. Less than two weeks were left of school before Christmas break, and classes had become less serious, Clarke reported. Their Physics teacher, too cold to plan a lesson had sat them down with sheets of paper and scissors and told them to make snowflakes to stick on the windows. Meanwhile, in Octavia's English class, they were given a quiz on Christmas songs. Maya had won by a long way.

Lexa hugged each of her friends one at a time. It was finally over. She would get her results soon enough. She had a little hope for high grades. She had studied more than anyone else; she had been studying since before she even started at the school, and reading over her notes every night. She just prayed it was enough.

"Okay, guys, I have something planned," said Octavia. "Anyone free?"

Miller and Monty looked at each other, sharing some kind of psychic link it appeared, then shook their heads. They had plans, they said. Maya had a ballet recital, but Jasper was free to come. Lexa thought it odd because surely Maya would want her boyfriend at her ballet recital. She glared at him but made no remark. Of course, Raven and Clarke were to come, along with Monroe, Harper and Wells. Octavia said she had texted Lincoln and he would be joining them later. It was quite funny that a college student was spending so much time with a group of highschoolers. Then again, he was only a year older than them.

"I think he'll bring some friends, too."

Behind the school, there were woods. Students were allowed in there during the day time, but there was a wire fence that stopped anyone getting too far out. It turned out that Octavia knew just where the hole in the fence was.

The snow was thicker here, as they strayed from the woodland path. The snow had yet to be soiled by many people walking up and down and trampling it into sludge. Lexa could now see the fence; it was a few feet in front of them. It was difficult to see the gap as someone had pulled together the sections of wire so teachers would not see it and call it in for someone to fix. Octavia was ahead of the others with Raven whom she pushed in her wheelchair. Monroe and Harper walked at Clarke and Lexa's side, gloved hand in gloved hand and Monroe's newly cut ginger hair hiding beneath their beanie.

They went through the gap one at a time. Octavia went first, then waited on the other side to help Raven through. It was most difficult with Raven because first she had to stand, then she had to lift her leg on which she wore her brace and lean through. Wells folded up her wheelchair as small as it could get and pushed it through the hole behind her. Then, the rest of the group followed. By the time Harper was on the other side, Raven was back in the wheelchair, and they made their way deeper into the woods.

How Octavia had her bearings, Lexa had no clue. Everything looked the same, endless pine trees topped with snow. Eventually, they reached a clearing. In the middle was a big pile of logs and on top, twigs were stacked. There were four more logs making a square around the pyre.

"Okay, guys. Collect some dry sticks and leaves, and we'll start a bonfire. Come on, I brought marshmallows. And yes, Lexa, they're vegetarian."

There were few sticks on the ground that had not been in the snow, and practically now leaves. Monroe was throwing stones up at one of the trees to try and get sticks to fall down but they were having no luck. Next, they tried climbing up with Harper lifting them.

Altogether, the group managed to collect a few which, when mingling with what was already there, provided enough wood to start a decent fire. Octavia had to light a few matches as the cold wind kept extinguishing them but using some gas she had on her, the sticks easily were set aflame.

They roasted marshmallows, staying near the fire to keep them warm. It was only 5pm but it was dark out. Monroe sat on Harper's lap and kissed her, not caring what the others thought of this small public display of affection. It seemed two couples had been officially announced in one day. Lexa shared a smile with Clarke as the shorter girl came to sit at her side.

"Yo, Lexa. Want to listen to some music?" Raven asked. "Taylor Swift, I'm guessing."

"Well, actually, I'm not the biggest fan of her anymore. Well, that's not true. I still love her music. It's just she's getting kind of annoying?" Lexa said like it was a question.

"Oh, Lex, we all think that. Surprised it took you so long."

"It's just the thing with the VMAs. I know she didn't quite understand but she always talks about feminism but her version of feminism is just women shouldn't be pit against each other. Which they shouldn't, but the fact she was taking the spotlight from Nicki Minaj, even if not purposefully, was not that good."

"Miley, what's good?" laughed Raven as she reminisced over that year's VMAs.

"She's made a lot of mistakes in her past, which I know she has gotten past. The whole  _Better Than Revenge_ thing. I love the song but listening to the lyrics I'm just like...yikes."

"Am I dreaming or did Lexa just say yikes?"

"I'll let Clarke choose a song."

Clarke high fived Lexa then looked over at Raven. " _Young God,_ if you don't mind Raven."

As they ate, Clarke and Raven started doing really melodramatic actions to match the lyrics, most of these actions being pointing at random people in their square and raising their hands in the air before throwing them down. Clarke moved up really close to Lexa, and sang.

 _"I'm the King of everything and oh, my tongue is a weapon."_ She stuck out her tongue so that it almost touched Lexa's cheek and Lexa had to bat her away.

_"There's a light in the crack that's separating your thighs and if you wanna go to Heaven, you should fuck me tonight."_

"WHO THE FUCK IS SINGING?!" someone shouted from the darkness between the trees and everyone froze. It was a man's voice and Lexa panicked. It could possibly by a teacher, there to tell them off and give them all detention. This would not look good, the same day that she had taken her SATs. Then, everyone relaxed as two teenagers - a boy and a girl - approached. They must have been freezing for they were both dressed in only black hoodies and black jeans.

"Oh, it's just you lot," said John Murphy, while Niylah Murphy looked around at each of them. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Could ask you the same," said Octavia.

"Well, I just wanted to celebrate finishing SATs. We were going to set off some fireworks," he answered.

"Didn't you take your SATs last year with the rest of us?"

"Yeah, but in case you'd forgotten, I'm a slacker," he said. This was something Lexa had heard teachers call Murphy on more than one occasion. Often, it was to his face, as he was that boy who would show up late for class, sometimes with a flask hidden under his desk, and who would talk to people sitting around him, even if he was not friendly with them, instead of taking notes. Then, when the teacher called him out for it in front of the whole class, he talked back. She had seen Clarke and Raven with their heads on the desk, trying not to laugh at how witty some of his responses were. This led him to getting detention after detention. Lexa thought he might be intelligent but the learning method the school had was just not right to keep him interested.

 _Young God_ flowed straight into  _Castle_ as Raven had all Halsey's songs lined up on her phone on shuffle. Murphy groaned something about stupid indie music but sat next to Wells. He helped himself to some marshmallows and Monroe requested he give them some booze.

"Sorry, don't got any on me."

After some time, Lincoln appeared with a few of his college friends and sat with Octavia, holding her hand. Clarke was messing around on snapchat with various filters and kept trying out new ones on her and the others. She had a lot of fun with the face swap filter, creating some kind of abomination with her and Murphy, but the face swap between her and Lexa actually looked pretty decent.

"I don't know. I like how I look with blonde hair. The only problem is our skin tones don't match."

"This is what our baby will look like," said Clarke.

"As far as I know, Clarke, we are both cisgender females so if theoretically we were to have children together, either only one of them would be biologically related to us or we could adopt."

" _This_ is what our baby will look like," Clarke repeated, more pointedly.

By now, everyone was doing a full on  _Disney_ singalong.  _"IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIFE!"_ the group chorused, as they listened to the music coming from Raven's phone. Clarke was uploading all of this onto her snapchat story.

They ended the evening by setting off Murphy's fireworks. It was nearly seven thirty and Lexa had just received a text from Anya asking where on earth she was, so she knew she had to go. The fireworks were easy to use, according to the packet. They were meant for families at home, and came with few safety hazards. Just in case, everyone stood back while Murphy lit the end of the tube.

Up into the sky burst the sparkles, gold and pink and green and blue and silver and orange and white. Clarke covered her ears, for they were in close range and the bangs and crashes were deafening. Lexa wrapped an arm around her shoulder as Raven searched for  _Firework_ by Katy Perry on her spotify account and the catchy song radiated around the clearing.

"Your results will be amazing," Clarke assured Lexa. "You'll get that scholarship, I just know it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Please leave me feedback in the comments and as always feel free to come message me on tumblr at sharkgriffin


End file.
